The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

It puts the eggs in the basket when it is told or it gets the hose again

10 Comments

Yeah, so, I’m not really into Easter.

I mean, I haven’t been into Easter since I was a little kid. Obviously, when I was kid I was all about coloring eggs and chocolate bunnies. I’m not made of stone, people. But, as an adult with no kids … Easter, meh. It was just an excuse to go to brunch — like I needed an excuse for mid-morning/afternoon drinking.

Of course, now I have a Spawn, but my mom still needed to remind me that Easter was a thing.

Mom: “Does Calvin have an Easter basket?”
Me: “Umm, it’s Easter?”
Mom: “On Sunday it is. You’re a mom now. You need to think about these things.”
Me: “Holy shit! You’re right. I will get him a basket.”

Then my mom made arrangements for us to crash my aunt and uncle’s Easter brunch (mimosas!), which gave Calvin the opportunity to hunt for eggs with his cousins and second cousins. Thanks, Mom, for being a really good Grandma.

So, as you might remember, The Boy is allergic to eggs. He could probably pick up eggs and be fine as long as he didn’t eat them, but I figured that I didn’t want to ruin everyone’s Easter with a reenactment of the epi-pen scene from “Pulp Fiction” followed by a trip to the emergency room so I bought him some plastic eggs. At first, I wasn’t sure what to put in the plastic eggs. He doesn’t really eat candy. He’s only 18 months old. Then I came up with the brilliant idea of cheddar bunnies. The Boy loves cheddar bunnies. Problem solved.

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By the way, The Boy never touched his Easter basket. He picked the little stuffed duckling out of it and gave it a kiss. And when it came time to hunt for eggs, he picked up an egg in each hand and was like, “I’m good” and walked off. He was done for the day.

At my aunt and uncle’s house, I went outside to help my uncle hide eggs for the kids. (Oh, sorry. Spoiler alert! There’s no Easter bunny.) I was throwing eggs all over the place when my uncle said, “This is a trip. I remember hiding eggs for you. Now you were out here hiding eggs with me for your kid.” Aww, special moment. Then he said, “Sonia, you were cuter than all these kids put together.” What a nice man. He’s very nice, but a huge liar. See?

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Even back in the day, I was a total goober.

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Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/mocker/goober/mother in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, podcast, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

10 thoughts on “It puts the eggs in the basket when it is told or it gets the hose again

  1. Best blog title of the day.

  2. That’s a big compliment. I’ll take it. Thanks!

  3. Easter is like Halloween’s less cool younger sibling. Awesome idea with the cheddar bunnies in the eggs, by the way. My daughter is 18 months too. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that.

  4. Calvin ate his chedder bunnies today while I was watching him, he enjoyed them, it was a great idea Sonia!!!!

  5. He is so MF’in cute, have I told you that?? My mom gave us a brutally violent children’s book about Jesus getting crucified, (ages 10 months and up!) I think I would have preferred cheddar bunnies.

  6. Pingback: Why is the Easter Bunny so creepy? | The Sonia Show

  7. Pingback: Easter is still not a thing around here | The Sonia Show

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