Yeah, so, there are a lot of things I don’t like about working in a cubicle.
I don’t like that everyone can hear my personal phone conversations, which means I have to finding a hiding spot in the building to make calls about all my various medical issues. I don’t think everyone should have to listen to me schedule a mammogram. “So, you’re getting your boob squished on Monday. That’s cool.”
I don’t like that everyone walking by can see into my cube, which really affects my ability to screw around on the internet and watch cute cat videos.
But my No. 1 complaint is there is no way for me to hide from the office busybody.
Most people in the office loathe lunchtime, because they know they are going to be quizzed about their lunch. If she hears the microwave running, she comes running. My office buddy Paul told me that one time he saw her go into the restroom and he ran to put his food in the microwave, hoping it would be finished before she came out. It was a noble effort that failed.
Think you can get away with eating your lunch in peace by not warming it up? False. Even when I’m eating vegetables and hummus for lunch, she will wander into my cube: “Is that your lunch, Sonia?”
Yesterday, I ate my lunch early. Somehow I managed to eat under the office busybody’s radar. I ate my lunch without being pestered. It was awesome. I was living the dream. Then, around lunchtime, I was filling up my water cup in the kitchen area, when the office busybody wandered in.
Office busybody: “Where’s your lunch, Sonia?”
Me: [sighs] “I already ate it.”
Office busybody: “Oh, you already ate it. Ha ha ha. I was wondering where your lunch was.”
Me: “Well, I didn’t mean to make you worry. You shouldn’t worry. I’m getting enough vitamins and nutrients.”
Office busybody: “?”
Me: “?” [goes back to my cube]