The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

I’m starting to think my baby doesn’t like me


Yeah, so, the Spawn hates me.

OK, maybe “hate” is too strong a word. Let’s just say I’m not his favorite. Mighty, mighty good man David is his favorite. I’ve written before about how he is a daddy’s boy. But he’s taking his indifference to me to a whole new level.


Last week, The Boy was sick. He had roseola, which means he had a fever for three days followed by a rash. Poor kid. Considering he had a fever of 102, he was in pretty good spirits. He just wanted to lay around on the couch and watch TV. Toddlers: They’re just like us!

We were sitting on the couch together, watching a Baby Einstein DVD for the 10,000th time. I went into the kitchen to fill up his water cup, and when I returned The Boy had decided that I needed to sit somewhere else. The couch was taken.


(By the way, is there a support group I can join for parents who have seen the Baby Einstein DVDs too many times? The Boy is obsessed with Baby Newton, which contains a song about crayons and drawing a clown and it makes me want to hit myself in the head with a frying pan. Seriously, I’m hearing the song in my sleep. It’s awful.)

The other day, David was holding The Boy, and the kid gave David a kiss. I leaned in: “Do you have a kiss for me?” Then he stuck his hand in my face as if to say, “Oh hell no, Mom.” Shortly after that, David put The Boy down, and the kid bent down and gave the dog a kiss on his back, near his butt.

I know, right?

He would rather kiss the dog’s ass than give me a kiss.

Gee, no, that doesn’t hurt my feeling at all, why do you ask? Don’t mind me, kid, I’m just the lady who ruined her body to create you. I’m the lady that makes your food and does your laundry. But that’s cool. Go ahead and love the dog more than me.


Homer, David and The Boy are all at one end of the couch, and I’m at the other.

I hear that kids go through phases; that they go back and forth on which parents are their favorite. But the Spawn’s favoritism of David has been going on for quite some time now. Mommy is never his favorite. I won’t lie: Sometimes it hurts my feelings. I think I’m a pretty OK mom. I’m fun. I get down on the ground and push cars around and build things with blocks. I start tickle fights. I play music and get short-lived dance parties going in the kitchen. Sure, I’m not perfect, but I’m doing OK. I sew up his ripped stuff animals and what not. He should at least kinda like me.

David is going to be traveling for work in a few weeks. I’m a little worried that it’s going to be four days of The Boy being pissed at me not being his Dad: “Why are you here? Where’s Dad? … Thanks for the food. When does Dad get home again? … You know who’s awesome? Dad! I love that guy. When does Dad get home again?”

Maybe The Boy can sense it. He can tell that I want him to love me. I’m desperate. He can smell it. Maybe I need to read “He’s Just Not That Into You” again. Maybe I need to play hard to get? Or maybe offer a bribe? “Listen, kid. Here’s a box of cheddar bunnies, now love me, dammit!”


Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/podcaster/mother/goober in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, go on adventures with my mighty, mighty good man David and my awesome autistic son, Calvin, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

13 thoughts on “I’m starting to think my baby doesn’t like me

  1. Don’t blame yourself, Sonia! It’s the Baby Einstein DVD.
    It has a song about drawing a clown >> Clowns are evil >> Calvin snubs you in favor of the dog’s butt
    Cause and effect! Clowns are the devil!

  2. Sorry, I know it’s serious to you, but I laughed so hard! I suspect it’s time for either sticking to serious prose or getting myself an adult diaper.
    Don’t worry, it’s only a phase. Usually (but not necessarily) with boys it’s their mum first, then their dad. As they get older they will seek the parent out for advice, dependng on their expertise.(There’s a writer called Steve Biddulph) who’s written parenting books about boys that’s quite good.)

    Can I just suggest – don’t ask for a kiss (no matter how you’re longing for it, don’t sit with your boy when he is watchng Einstein. Sit in your chair and read a book. The more you ignore him the more he’ll want to know why. Good luck.
    PS. Did I say I loved your post!? 🙂

  3. I have the same issue with my son. It’s sort of heartbreaking. My hubs does travel and it goes ok, but man, the second he gets back, it’s totally all about Daddy and I can simply Ef off.

  4. I know this is a hard time for you Sonia but Calvin’s feelings will cycle around be patient, He knows that both his parents love him and it will all work out. Love to all of you!!!!

  5. We’ve had some issues with this, as I’ve mentioned, with Dashiell telling Michael to go away and stuff like that. (The older they get, the better they are at hurting your feelings, I tell ya.)
    One thing that has helped is that Michael and Dashiell have some special things they do alone together each week, things that Dashiell really enjoys and looks forward to. Michael takes him to the library, takes him to see boats at Spreckels Lake, and lets him watch tv shows while I’m at work (because Mommy is an anti-tv meanie). Sometimes they get ice cream.
    He still sometimes tells Daddy to go away, but now sometimes he tells Mommy to go away too (this is progress, sort of). Sometimes he tells me on my days off that I should go to work so he can watch a show!
    I have a theory that the parent they reject is the parent they think of as the one they can take for granted, the one they can most rely on. Which is, if you think about it, sort of a backhanded compliment.
    Yeah, Michael doesn’t find that helpful either.
    Anyway, good luck!

    • I think your theory is very interesting, Sara. I am the one who takes Calvin to nannyshare every day, and I’m the one that picks him up. I’m there every morning, but a few mornings a week, The Boy wakes up and David has already left for work. Also, sometimes David travels for work and is gone for days at a time. But I’m always around. Maybe he feels like he need to keep an eye on Daddy all the time for that reason.

      Either way, I appreciate the comment and the advice! Maybe I will try to come up with a little mom and son activity for us.

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