The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

This is why I will never get a promotion at work


Yeah, so, my company is making plans to participate in a graphic design conference in June.

We had another planning meeting, and this is how I contribute to the conversation.

Office buddy Paul: We are going to order T-shirts for everyone working the booth.

Me: I’m going to wear a Star Trek uniform. It’s an ice breaker. Everyone will come our booth, and I’ll say, “I thought this was Comic-Con.”

Paul: Ha ha. I’m going to need to get everyone’s size.

Me: Order me an extra small. I think an extra small will look really good on me.

Promotion, please!

Here’s another random story from the cubicle …

Several of my coworkers were on a conference call. No big deal, right? Well, they were on this call in their separate offices and cubicles. So, their meeting was in stereo and with a delay. It was cubicle hell. I was just waiting for someone to come in and start warming up fish in the microwave.

I’m not saying I require silence to work. I don’t. I like a little commotion in the office. It’s like working in the newsroom again, but without the deadline stress and the booze. And I’m not exactly known for being quiet in my cube. BUT, I would never do that. I would never take a call on speakerphone in my cube. I won’t even make a personal call on my cellphone in my cube. I always go outside or stand in the printing press area that is clearly marked “Warning: Hazardous Waste” because that’s where I know I can have a moment alone.


Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/podcaster/mother/goober in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, go on adventures with my mighty, mighty good man David and my awesome autistic son, Calvin, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

8 thoughts on “This is why I will never get a promotion at work

  1. I won’t get a promotion at work because I am not very good at working, but that’s another sad, sad story. Can I cajole you into guest posting this or something similar for my Friday series. I am looking for humor and a sardonic slant on work. This is hilarious.

  2. My old boss used to call us up on speakerphone and yell at us so everyone in the office could hear both sides and know exactly who was getting their ass chewed out. He was an amazing boss.

    • Ugh. I haven’t been yelled at by my bosses here, but at my old newspaper job, the editor yelled at me in front of the entire newsroom. Instead of handling it like an adult, I ran out of the room in tears, because I’m a lame chick stereotype.

  3. I feel completely unqualified to comment on this since I don’t work, but I used to, and I have a feeling that if I did again, I would be exactly like you, Star Trek uniform and all.

  4. Kate, the reporters didn’t jump out the window, but they would “go to lunch” and never come back.

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