Yeah, so, watching TV with me isn’t as awesome as you think.
I know, I know. You probably think watching TV with me is amazing; that I sit here and spout amazing, thoughtful insights. The truth is … well, not so much.
Tonight, mighty, mighty good man David and I were watching the San Francisco Giants vs. Colorado Rockies game. The Rockies have a pitcher named Josh Outman. The following conversation actually happened.
Me: Do you think when he strikes someone out he says, “You’re out, man,” and then gives them the finger guns? *gives David the finger guns*
Me: It seems like a missed opportunity to me.
David: It is.
Me: Don’t you love watching sports with me?
David: I really do.
Also, while watching Giants games, we constantly see the same commercials. Most of them are only mildly annoying, but one of them makes me so angry. It’s a commercial for Subway.
Subway wants us to think their crappy sandwiches are good for you, so this commercial is set in a fast food joint that is trying to sell really fattening meals. One of those meals is called, “the Badonkadonk Butt.” The reason I get some mad about this commercial is because a badonkadonk is a butt. So the meal is called a “butt butt.”
Go to hell, Subway.
Let’s forget for a second your lame attempt to use “hip” slang, and by “hip” I mean “totally not hip.” Obviously, you think people won’t know what a badonkadonk is so you added “butt” to make it crystal clear. Seriously, it’s insulting as one of your “sandwiches.” People know what a badonkadonk is. How dare you, Subway!