Yeah, so, I’m just going to write about a couple of random things. Cool?
On Sunday, we went to the Alameda County Fair. We went last year, too, and I wrote about it riiight here. It is still some of the best people watching money can buy. Also, they serve deep-fried everything. Still no deep-fried butter or beer that I could find, but they are still pushing the deep-fried watermelon, because the Alameda County Fair won’t be happy until we all have Type 2 Diabetes.
By the way, did you guys know that table setting competitions are a thing? I saw it in an episode of “Bob’s Burgers,” but I had no idea that it actually existed. But there it was at the Alameda County Fair. Here’s my favorite:
It’s a “50 Shades of Grey”-inspired table setting! I know, right?! It’s gettin’ all naughty at the Alameda County Fair. There was also “Life of Pi” and “Princess Bride” table settings, but those contestants are just playing it safe, though, am I right? I assume that “Twilight” table settings are sooo 2012.
So, you guys, let’s talk about abortion, because that’s always fun.
A friend of mine tweeted this photo, and look at this fuckin’ jackass in Texas.
I made quite a few jokes at this jackass’ expense on Twitter and Facebook. All of them along the lines of “If I was a man, I would regret getting an abortion, too. What a waste of money.”
I’m frustrated by all the anti-abortion legislation being passed in this country right now. I will never understand why men – or other women, for that matter – think they get to make the decisions when it comes to my medical decisions. Could you imagine if we had laws in this country that limited the medical choices that were available to men? “Hey, sorry that your appendix is about to burst, and you could die, but you can’t get your appendix out, because you live in Texas and we have rules about that sort of thing.”
I just compared appendicitis and pregnancy. LOL. The line to tell me that I am the worst starts to left.
Writer Kelly Oxford made this joke: “If men could get pregnant every gas station would have an abortion clinic in the back.” Of course, she is right. We know this. Abortion clinics would be like Starbucks if men could get pregnant. They would be on every corner, and you’d receive a punch card in which you get your 10th abortion for free. Of course, if men could get pregnant there probably wouldn’t be so many abortions, because we would actually teach sex ed in schools, so teenagers would know how to protect themselves and grow into responsible adults who know how to prevent pregnancy. There would probably be much longer, paid maternity leave, too. But that’s just crazy talk. Pregnancy and babies, that’s women stuff, but women shouldn’t be allowed to make those decisions, because eww vaginas.
Oh, and, by the way, Texas Governor Rick Perry … fuck you. Seriously. Someone should do some digging into his past because you know damn well that guy has paid for a few abortions in his day. Look at him. Ugh. What a horrible, horrible person.
Let’s talk about something else …
Here’s a photo of my mighty, mighty good man David vacuuming our house. Tell me it’s not the sexiest photo ever.
Happy Fourth of July, everyone! Be safe out there. Don’t blow off your hands with illegal fireworks.