The Sonia Show

Writer. Podcaster. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

I swear


Yeah, so, I swear.

I have a potty mouth. I use foul language. I’m inappropriate. I say naughty words. I curse.

I swear a lot. I swear so often I don’t really think about it. I don’t mean to be rude or crass, and I’m certainly not looking to offend people when I swear. I just do it. I think, subconsciously, I know when not to swear. I’m not saying “fuck that” and “that’s bullshit” in the office, even when I want to. I don’t write marketing copy for work that says, “Buy our business cards, because our sale ends soon, fuckface.” So, clearly, I know when it’s not appropriate. But I still swear when I probably shouldn’t.

Now that the Spawn is listening and starting to repeat things we say, I probably should be more careful. I mean, I’m not saying, “Here’s your sippy cup, asshole” or anything like that. But I might drop something in the kitchen and say, “Fuuuuck!” while he is standing there. I’ll say things like “Look at that fuckin’ asshole taking up two parking spots,” while the Spawn is in the car with me.

When my niece Lorelei was a toddler, my sister very politely suggested that I clean up my dirty mouth around her kid. I wasn’t very good about  it, and eventually Michelle gave up. My Mom brought up my using foul language around Lorelei at Thanksgiving dinner one year.

Mom: “I don’t think Sonia even tries to watch her mouth around the baby.”

Me: “That’s fucked up bullshit, Mom.”

I think it’s silly that there are some words that we can’t say because they are “naughty.” The n-word? I get it. That’s not a word you can say. It’s got history, a hurtful, awful history. That makes sense to me. [Side note: What’s up with white people complaining that black people can say the n-word, but white people can’t? Dear white people, black people can say the n-word and we can’t. Get over it. Maybe  you should look deep into your heart and examine why you feel the need to say that word so bad. Love, Sonia].  But the idea that “fuck” or “shit” is something you’re not supposed to say – that a long time ago someone deemed these words to be forbidden – seems strange, if you really think about it.

As usual, the great prophet and one of my heroes George Carlin sums it up best.

I could defend my theory that they are just words, and fuck it, I’ll say them whenever I want and so will my kid. But then people would look at me like I’m a fuckin’ asshole … even more so than usual. And worse, they will look at my Spawn like he’s an awful kid, and that I just can’t have.

Mighty, mighty good man David doesn’t really swear. He didn’t really swear before we had a kid. He says like “gee whiz” and “jiminy christmas.” It’s adorable. The other morning he said “shit” in front of The Boy, and then he said, “Oops. I pulled a ‘mama.'”

Swearing in front of kids is now referred to as “pulling a mama.” I don’t know whether to think that’s horrible or awesome.


Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/podcaster/mother/goober in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, go on adventures with my mighty, mighty good man David and my awesome autistic son, Calvin, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

16 thoughts on “I swear

  1. The other day I said “SHIT” in the car and Kenzie repeated it. I need to stop swearing if for no other reason than my mom will smack the shit out of ME if she hears Kenzie cursing. Just start with one word and go from there. Baby steps.

  2. I’m a huge curser. HUGE. Now when my kid drops something she says, “oh shit.” Me proud.

  3. We’re having some struggles with this one too. Dashiell has used a few “inappropriate” words lately. To which Michael helpfully responds, “actually, his use of the word was completely appropriate and correct in the given context.”
    Yeah, we’re going to have *that* kid in preschool.

  4. I’m with you. I cuss a lot, and I think getting offended by cuss words is kind of dumb, but convincing others of that? Not so easy. My kid is definitely going to end up a cusser someday. I’m just going to have to find a way to curb it in public. lol

    • I’m worried that the Spawn will start preschool next year, and he will be the kid that teaches the other kids all the “naughty” words. And then those parents will say something to me, and then I will have to tell them to fuck off.

      • Bahahaha! Yesterday, my daughter yelled some angry gibberish and I asked what she said, and my husband goes, “Oh, that was just her way of saying daddy sucks.” And then she goes, “Dada suck!” Dada suck!” over and over for like 10 minutes. So yeah, next time she catches an actual bad word, we’re in trouble.

  5. I have such a potty mouth and I have to be careful around the kids because they pick stuff up so quickly. Favorite moments – Kate dropping something and saying, “Suuuuuuuum BITCH!” I couldn’t fault her – she used it correctly. And then there was her first f-bomb. I said, “What the FUCK?!?!?” Then clear as a bell from the backseat I hear, “Wha da FUCK?!?!?!” These were back when she was little and still learning to talk. Recently Super Spouse said, “Blah, blah, fucking bullshit!” Kate looks at him all innocent and such and says, “Daddy? Why you say fucking?” It was awesome. 😀

  6. The Boy swears. He says ‘Damn it’ a lot. I told him to stop. Now he says ‘Damn it bo-bam-it’ and he thinks he’s not swearing because he made the swear rhyme.

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  8. My parents swore all the time when I was a kid. Everything was “fucking this or that” and “oh, shit…” and beyond. I was truly BAFFLED in kindergarten when I wound up in the principal’s office for dropping “mutherfucker” in casual conversation. But all it took was that one trip to the office.

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