The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

Whatever happened to Paris Hilton?

10 Comments

Yeah, so, I never thought I would say this but … I kinda miss Paris Hilton.

Remember Paris Hilton? Is Paris Hilton still a thing? She used to be in every magazine and on every gossip site. I used to write the daily celebrity gossip column for The Examiner back in 2005-2007, that was Paris Hilton’s heyday. Every day I would turn on the computer and say, “Let’s see what stupid shit Paris Hilton did today.” She made my job so easy.

scoop

See? I used to be a celebrity gossip columnist.

Now, all the gossip blogs now are filled with Amanda Bynes and Lindsay Lohan. They’re just not as fun to make fun of. They are clearly addicts and mental cases in need of serious help. Paris Hilton was just an ignorant, STD-ridden, rich bitch, who made a sex tape, and somehow that made her famous. Then she thought since she was famous she was going to be a movie star. Ha ha. No. Then she thought she was going to be a recording artist and DJ. That was hilarious. She also slapped her name on all these perfumes, because who doesn’t want to smell like a ignorant, STD-ridden, rich bitch, who made a sex tape?

Remember when Paris Hilton went to jail for like five days and the world went fuckin’ nuts? Oh man, those were the days, am I right? Amanda Bynes and Lindsay Lohan are begging to go to jail, but they are such sad screwups they can’t even do that right.

Of course, there are still the Kardashians. They are fun to mock, because they are ignorant, STD-ridden, rich bitches, who are famous because one of them made a sex tape. I wrote about the Kardashians before. I got a lot of angry comments from people claiming that I was just jealous. Yes, it’s true. I’m super jealous. I wish I had made a sex tape that “somehow” got leaked to the public, so my mom could then whore me and my siblings out to the highest bidder. Darn. That could be me having Kanye West’s baby. And here I am living a happy, fulfilling life with the man of my dreams and adorable spawn. I’mwasting my life! I BLEW IT! Seriously, you guys, the Kardashians are role models for all young women. Make a sex tape, ladies, and you too could end up with a horrible, soul-sucking reality show and an unpopular clothing line at Sears.

So anyway, let me bring this back to Paris Hilton. She seemed like the worst thing ever back in the day. She was held up as an example of everything that was wrong with entertainment and pop culture, but now she seems so tame by comparison.

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Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/mocker/goober/mother in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, podcast, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

10 thoughts on “Whatever happened to Paris Hilton?

  1. I couldn’t agree more. Where is she?? And I am dying of jealousy about your past job. How fun! You of many talents.

  2. At least Paris Hilton was funny sometimes. The Kardashians are just dumb.

  3. Funny. I thinking the other thing the other day. I think she’s doing a lot of promotional stuff overseas. She hasn’t worn out her welcome there….yet.

  4. People always say that those Cracked countdowns of 80’s memorabilia make them feel old, but really, the fact that Paris Hilton is now kind of throwback makes me feel really old.

  5. I think Lindsay Lohan and Amanda Bynes took her spot.

  6. You know, Paris Hilton might be doing wrong things. But your not any better, with you cussing her out. Wow. Think before you speak . You make me sick! I’m not a fan of you or Paris . I’m holding my tongue back. You better be thankful for the things you have. Paris is going through something and your making it worse. Sick!

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