The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

The office busybody strikes again and other random stories

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Yeah, so, it’s been a busy week, and I have been neglectful of you, my tens of readers. My apologies.

I have three things to tell you.

No. 1: The office busybody strikes again.

OK, so, everyone here knows how I feel about the office busybody. She is obsessed with our lunches, our restroom habits and telling me that I’m having “a big baby.” This week she went to far. She asked another female coworker if she was pregnant. She is not. Awkwardness ensued.

I could hear the entire trainwreck from my cube. This coworker handled this situation so politely I was in awe. Telling the office busybody that she has put on a few pounds (honestly, I hadn’t even noticed) and would probably start trying to lose weight. I also heard someone else chime in, “It’s after Thanksgiving, you know?” “Yeah, this is my Thanksgiving baby.” The coworker went back to her cube, and the office busybody followed her, trying to apologize, but eventually the coworker shooed her away saying, “It was nice talking to you. I have to get back to work.”

Oh snap.

Seriously, the office busybody is a menace, and she must be stopped. I’m thinking about bringing in a squirt bottle, and every time she says something stupid I’m going to spray her in the face. I’m convinced I can train her to behave.

No. 2: It was fuckin’ freezing in our office this week.

OK, so, it’s been pretty cold in the Bay Area for a week or so. Bad time for the heater to break in our office.The heater was broke Friday and Monday. It was so cold in the office I could barely type. I put on fingerless gloves, which meant that my palms were warm, my fingertips were cold, and it’s was even more difficult to type.

56?!

56?! I know, I know. My friends in the Midwest are like, “boo fuckin’ hoo, Sonia.”

I’m usually pretty nice to be around. I’m not a whiner. I’m afraid everyone in the office got to meet Nasty Bitch Sonia on Monday. She sucks. She bitches about everything. I don’t like being cold. I’m fine with it if I’m walking around Paris. I’m not fine with it in my office where I’m writing about different types of business card paper stocks.

3. I had a really good beer.

I really like beer, and I had an amazing one over the weekend. One of our local breweries, Speakeasy, released their first barrel-aged beer (actually, it’s a mix of several of their beers, including two imperial stouts, an IPA, barleywine and porter aged in various bourbon barrels), Syndicate No. 01, and it’s amazing and delicious. If you can get a bottle of it, get two. It’s so good! One of the best I’ve had in a while. It reminds me of FiftyFifty’s Eclipse, which is one of the best of the barrel-aged beers in my opinion. Eclipse is pricey, though, about $25 a bottle, and you can get Syndicate for $15.99 at the brewery.

syndicate

Oh, by the way, I’m tracking my drinking problem on Untappd now if you want to follow me, I’ll totally follow you back.

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Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/mocker/goober/mother in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, podcast, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

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