Yeah, so, remember how the Spawn is allergic to eggs? Well, funny story, last week I decided to blow that off because I’m a stupid asshole. Here’s what happened.
I took the Spawn with me to my cousin Amber’s baby shower, because apparently that’s what I think toddlers are into. “Hey, do you want to go to party and be quiet and watch a lady open gifts, but you can’t? OK, let’s go!”
There was a ton of delicious food at the party. My mom made herself a plate and took a seat. Calvin immediately wandered over to her to check out what she was eating, and she was kind enough to share with him.
Me: “What are you feeding him, Mom?”
Mom: “It’s a chicken sandwich.”
Me: “OK then.”
Mom: “Actually, it’s a chicken salad sandwich.”
Me: “Umm, Mom. Chicken salad has mayo in it, and mayo is egg.”
Mom: “Oh.” [continues feeding him the sandwich]
Me: “Mom, please stop feeding my son things he is allergic to. I will make him a plate.”
I made him a plate of food, and he ate some of it. Shortly after I noticed that he didn’t have any kind of reaction to the mayo at all. The doctor said they would retest Calvin’s allergy at 3, and he’s 2½ now. Maybe he outgrew it, I thought.
A little while later, we were all sitting around eating cake, cookies and cupcakes and other things made with egg when Calvin walks up to me with a cupcake in hands. He is holding it out to me with the biggest smile on his face, like “please, can I have it?”
He didn’t steal it off the table and shove it in his face like most kids. He asked permission in his own way, with a big smile and handing it to me. I figured, “Well, he had egg earlier with no reaction. I guess a bite of cupcake would be OK.”
He took a few bites, mainly frosting, because he is a kid after all. And then the red appeared on his face and around his mouth.
Oh, that’s not good, I thought. I ushered him out of the living room and into the kitchen. He was starting to get upset, probably because he was getting itchy. I washed his face off with a wet paper towel, and got the hydro-cortisone cream I keep in his diaper bag. I also put his EpiPen on top of the bag, just in case.
My cousin Amy and her friend were chatting in the kitchen.
The Friend: “What’s wrong?”
Me: “He’s having an allergic reaction. He had a cupcake, and he’s allergic to egg. He will be fine.”
The Friend: “Oh, did he take it off the table?”
Me: “I let him have it. He will be fine.”
She looked at me like I was the biggest dumb ass in the world, and she was right to. I’m a complete a dumb ass.
Amy: “Do you want some Benadryl?”
I rolled up his sleeves and he had hives all the way to his elbows.
Me: “Yes, please.”
I gave him the Benadryl, and my Aunt Pam came by with her iPhone and some ABCs app that he found incredibly distracting. We sat in a chair together, while I repeated to people, “He will be fine.” A few minutes later he was fine. The red swelling and hives were almost completely gone. Seriously. It was that fast.
While the allergic reaction was happening, I tried to remain relatively calm. “He will be fine” I kept repeating to people, and I was all pleases and thank yous to people while I tended to him.
Once I knew he really was going to be OK, I basically had a panic attack. I had the shakes, and asked my mom to bring me a glass of water while I sat down. Amy offered me a glass of champagne, because she is awesome, but my mom shooed it away, because she didn’t want me to have a glass of champagne and then drive home, even though I’m pretty sure a glass of champagne would not get me drunk because I went to Chico State (as did Amy, she gets it). My mom probably thought I deserved to wallow in my panic attack, and she is probably right.
I thought the Benadryl would knock Calvin out, and then we would head home. Instead it was like a Red Bull, and he ran laps around their backyard for about an hour, before we left. Once in the car, he fell asleep before I hit the first red light, easily with 1 minute.
I beat myself up the entire drive home. Then I got home and told mighty, mighty good man David what happened. I felt so bad, so stupid. He was very nice to me about it, because he is a nice man. I repeated again to him how Calvin had the chicken salad sandwich with mayo, and he had no reaction, and then I remembered something the doctor said during Calvin’s allergy test.
Allergies can be like a cup. You can have a little bit, and you’re fine. But then you have a little more and the cup overflows. You don’t know how big the cup is, so you never know how much you can have, so it’s better just not to have any.
Yep. No more eggs for now.
So anyway, the Spawn is perfectly fine. Here he is the next day, laying in the sun eating fries with David like nothing even happened.
And I have learned that he has not outgrown his egg allergy. Good to know.