The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

Why is the Easter Bunny so creepy?

2 Comments

Yeah, so, why is the Easter Bunny in the mall always so creepy? I have never seen a photo of a kid with the Easter Bunny in the mall that wasn’t nightmare material.

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My niece Lucy is strangely not afraid of this Easter Bunny, even though it has creepy tiny hands. Look at its hands!

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My nieces Lucy and Olivia pretending they are not horrified. This bunny has hands that are in proportion with its body, but look at it’s cold dead eyes! Cold dead eyes!

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My niece Lorelei in 2003 (I think) is probably wondering, ‘Why is this Easter Bunny naked?”

I thought this Easter Bunny thing was a recent phenomenon: A recent marketing campaign designed to bilk money from sucker parents who feel guilty about spending too much time at work. I don’t remember ever going to see the Easter Bunny when I was kid. I was wrong. Apparently, it’s always been a thing. My brother-in-law Tony shared this little gem on Facebook.

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Look at Tony’s face … He knew that Easter Bunny was going to eat his cousin.

There are many Tumblrs dedicated to horrifying Easter Bunnies. So, it’s not just our local mall Easter Bunnies that are scary. It’s a nationwide epidemic. The Easter marketing masterminds need to go back to the drawing board on this one. The Easter Bunny costumes are not perfected yet. They need to have limbs that are in proportion with their bodies, and they need to not have COLD DEAD EYES! They shouldn’t be so hare-raising (Get it! See what I did there?) The last thing I want to teach my kid is to accept candy from a dead-eyed monster who looks like he would kill you in your sleep.

Also, question: Why you are taking your kid to see the Easter Bunny? Does the Easter Bunny bring gifts? Is the Easter Bunny basically Santa now? If he is granting wishes, maybe the Easter Bunny should wish to be less sinister. Of course, this is coming from a parent who needed to be reminded that Easter was a thing.

 

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Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/mocker/goober/mother in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, podcast, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

2 thoughts on “Why is the Easter Bunny so creepy?

  1. Pingback: Chemo went much better this time, you guys | The Sonia Show

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