Yeah, so, have you seen these stupid Coke and Diet Coke cans with the names on them?
First of all, I’m not sure understand the idea behind marketing plan. Is the idea that I would walk up to the cooler in a store to buy something and see my name on a soda can and immediately buy it?
“Well, I was going to be healthy, thirst-quenching water, but then I saw my name on this soda can and I just had to buy it.”
I assume this was to create some social media buzz, and I’m sure it’s working, because we’re all ridiculous. I post photos of my beer on Instagram. I’m not superior.
My office buddy Paul drinks so much Diet Coke it should be illegal. No, seriously. There should be a law, because I’m sure that much Diet Coke causes cancer. I don’t want him to get cancer, because then he will take a bunch of time off of work, and I’ll have to do his work, and I’m lazy. I know I will have to do his work, because Paul and Jennifer covered for me and did all my work when I had breast cancer … that maybe I got from diet sodas. Dun dun DUN!
So, some of the Coke and Diet Coke cans have names on them, but some of them are a little more generic, too. They say “Share a Coke With Your Pal” or “Your buddy,” or “A star.”
Boring! Here are a few suggestions for you, Coke.
Share a Coke with …
- Your Biological Father
- Your Ex-Wife
- Your Fuck Buddy
- Someone Who Doesn’t Have Ebola
- A Kardashian
- Your Baby Daddy
- Your Baby Mama
- A Tupac Hologram
- A Mascot Getting Kicked in the Balls
- The Smelly Guy on the Bus
- Your Republican Friend
- The Offfice Busybody
- Your Gynecologist
Your turn. Who should we be sharing a Coke with?