The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

Everything you wanted to know about my vacation but were afraid to ask


Yeah, so, sleeping in was everything I remembered.

Mighty, mighty good man David and I have returned from our four-day vacation to San Luis Obispo, which is surrounded by lovely beaches and fabulous wineries – none of which we visited. So, if you were hoping for a blog post about wineries and sunburns, this isn’t the blog post for you. Instead, all we did was eat, drink beer and check our MLB apps to find out the score of the Giants games. Oh, and we spent quality time together and talked about our feelings blah blah blah.

OK, so, since I think everything in my life is so fascinating, and that you guys are just aching to know every detail, I’m breaking my vacation blog summary into two posts. This first post will be all food, the hotel and touchy-feely crap about how much I missed my Spawn. The second post will be the one about beer (i.e. the one you probably really care about). Sequels are always better than the originals, folks.

The first order of business for our vacation was to ditch The Kid, so we dropped him off with my mom. I was expecting tears, but instead he gave us a good-bye wave as he took Homer for walk with Grandma. My mom would later report to me that Calvin didn’t cry at all and that he didn’t ask about us. Umm, thanks? I didn’t cry like the last time I was away from Calvin for more than a day. I did, however, text my mom twice a day, and check Facebook more than I should in the hopes that she would post photos. And she did.

My mom took Calvin to visit his Great Grandma, and he decided her little garden pond is a great pool.

My mom took Calvin to visit his Great Grandma, and he decided her little garden pond is a great pool. FYI: He does not appear to have the West Nile virus … yet.

In San Luis Obispo, we stayed at the Madonna Inn, which is known for uniquely decorated rooms. For example, there’s a Caveman room. No, really, there’s a Caveman room. Since we were staying four nights, they recommended splitting up our stay, so we did two nights in the Barrel of Fun room, and two nights in the Old World room.

The Barrel of Fun room is big with a lot of natural light. It isn’t very wacky. There is a rock shower, and the walls are glittery. Also, that room boasts a heated toilet seat. Oh la la. Plus, it is a little more removed from the other rooms, so it was very quiet. It was a nice way to start our vacation.

Barrel of Fun room.

Nothing screams “Barrel of Fun room” like a lady sitting on a couch quietly reading “Gone Girl” on her Kindle while a lone balloon lingers above her head.

The Old World room is dark, and it’s mostly rock. There was a lot more noise. We could hear the people around us, but it wasn’t too bad. The room is so dark that I had no trouble sleeping. In fact, it was the room I slept best in, and I was able to sleep in, and it was heaven.

Old World room.

Old World room.

The Old World room has a waterfall rock shower, meaning the water trickles down the rocks for you to shower. I thought it was pretty cool, but I know the novelty would wear off pretty quick, and I’d crave a regular shower with modern-day water pressure after a few days. Still, it’s pretty nifty.

Both rooms are really nice, and it’s a comfortable hotel with excellent service, but I think I prefer the Old World room. Probably because it’s more wacky, and if you’re doing to stay at the Madonna Inn, you might as well go full wacky.

For my birthday on Thursday, we had got massages and then had dinner at the hotel steakhouse, because David knows how to spoil me.

Birthday dinner date!

Birthday dinner date!

The dinner was just OK, but the dessert was delicious. Everyone told me that I had to try the pink champagne cake. That’s the thing to get. Everyone was not wrong. It’s really, really good. In fact, all the baked goods are kind of amazing. We ate bear claws and cinnamon rolls every morning. One afternoon we ordered cake to-go and sat in the Old World room and stuff our faces listening to the Giants game on the MLB app, because we really know how to live.

The pink champagne cake is 3,457 Weight Watchers Points.

The pink champagne cake is 3,457 Weight Watchers Points.

We did a sunset tour of Heart Castle on Friday, which I highly recommend. I have never been to Hearst Castle, so I cannot compare the evening tours with the regular tours, but getting to see this mansion and its beautiful views at sunset was pretty damn awesome.

Amazing photo by mighty, mighty good man David.

Amazing photo by mighty, mighty good man David.

FYI: The evening tour features actors dressed in vintage clothing pretending to be guests – and sometimes they interact with you. Wheeee! Honestly, I tried to avoid eye contact, because I’m a socially awkward weirdo, but they really wanted to interact with me. With my red hair and glasses, I look like I’m wearing a costume, too. A woman in maid outfit told me that my dress from Paris arrived and asked if she should lay it out on my bed. I thought about acting like a diva: “Don’t touch my dress from Paris!” and then I’d slap her face. Instead I went for the “That would be lovely – thank you” because I’m all dignified and polite and shit.

Oh, and there is a really important detail I must share with you: They sell snow globes in the Heart Castle gift shop. You’re welcome.



We visited Solvang on Saturday, which is a Danish village in California. Sure why? Anyway, it’s all bakeries and cute, little shops. Also, it was 101 degrees, so we walked through the downtown, and then I was over it. Hot weather is not my bag, baby, so we drove to Pismo Beach, where it was much cooler. We walked along the pier just in time for the sunset. Not-so-interesting side note: Whenever I stop to look at a sunset, I say to myself, “It’s the sunset, stupid.” I also say “It’s the sunset, stupid” to myself whenever I sense there is a moment that I’m ignoring that I should be enjoying.

It's the sunset, stupid.

It’s the sunset, stupid.

So anyway, I figured that after four days of being away from me, Calvin would really miss me. David travels for work all the time, but I never leave. I was thinking I’m was going to get the big welcome that David gets when he gets from a business trip. How silly. Instead, The Kid ran right by me like I wasn’t even there to get to David. Figures. Don’t mind me, kid. I’m just the one that totally ruined my body to give you life, but that’s cool. After we got home, he gave me the cold shoulder for a few hours, but later he snuggled up on the couch with me. I guess that was his way of telling me I was forgiven for going on vacation without him.


Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/podcaster/mother/goober in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, go on adventures with my mighty, mighty good man David and my awesome autistic son, Calvin, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

4 thoughts on “Everything you wanted to know about my vacation but were afraid to ask

  1. I just spent 15 minutes looking through all the rooms at the Madonna Inn, and I have some thoughts.

    1) The Round room is not round.
    2) The Vous room is more round than the Round room.
    3) Do you think the “Old Fashioned Honeymoon” room comes with blood on the sheets?
    4) There are a lot of rooms at that hotel! I wonder if everyone who works there knows how to get to all of them without a map.

    I would most like to stay in:
    1) The Yahoo room
    2) The Love Nest room
    3) The Old Mill room

    Hearst Castle at sunset looks bitchin’.

    • You made me laugh out loud, Kate! Funny you should mention the Old Mill room. An old friend of mine is staying in that room RIGHT NOW with his wife and kids. He commented on this blog post on Facebook. He said that room is awesome.

  2. Pingback: Brewcation | The Sonia Show

  3. This was sum funny shit! Loved it. Does look like a cool place to check out! The kid thing was funny. Hard to get rid of the lil dudes, but we love ’em. Hahaaaaa. ~~~F

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