Yeah, so, good buddy Kate invited me as her 1+ to a fancy Halloween party at a winery. Why did Kate invite me and not someone who is awesome and super fun? Because it was a “Star Wars”-themed Halloween party, and everyone knows that I love “Star Wars.” On our first date I out geeked mighty, mighty good man David by telling him I went to the “One Man Star Wars Trilogy” … twice.
As you can see from this blog’s masthead, I already own a Princess Leia costume, but I realized that a lot of the women at the party would be dressed as Princess Leia. Sadly, when it comes to “Star Wars” there’s slim pickins in the universe for the ladies. Kate and I bought some really cute “Star Wars” dresses on ThinkGeek.com. (There were a lot of Princess Leias at the party, but also a lot of female stormtroopers, jedis and fighter pilots. Nicely done, ladies.)
It was such an amazing party. It’s a lovely winery. We met some really cool people. There were “Star Wars”-themed cocktails. They had a room for dancing that was decorated to look like outerspace with a huge X-Wing fighter overhead. There was Jabba the Hutt and a Han Solo frozen in carbonite. The wine was delicious, and the food was so tasty. We had caviar and sipped soup from a teeny tiny bowl. We felt so fancy. We had a really great time.
So, it really bummed me out that there was a man in blackface at the party.
He was dressed as Lando. Dude, just be Lando. You don’t need the blackface. I saw an Asian Lando. It’s all good. I saw a black woman dressed as Princess Leia. You don’t need to blackface to dress up in a Halloween costume.
I told Kate that the answer to the question “Should I wear blackface?” is always no, and she made a really great flow chart for this blog post.
Not only was there a man at the party in blackface, but everyone seemed fine with it. They thought it was hilarious. Everyone posed for photos with him. I assume none of them are planning a run for public office, because that shit will come back to haunt them. Now, all the photos from the party are up on the company’s Facebook page, and people are commenting, “LOL!”
Ugh. Really? It’s depressing and so disappointing.
Kate and I were not fine with it. We found it really disturbing, and we tried to stay as far away from that jackass as we could. Later in the evening, Kate and I went outside to get some air. We were sitting on some steps outside, and I’m not going to lie, we were talking some shit about that guy, because – come on – blackface. Seriously. WTF?! Then he walked by us and he said, “Ohhh, I’m going to bale some cotton.” He really did say that. I’m not making that up. We just sat there with our mouths wide open in utter disbelief. He clearly heard us, and he wanted us to know he heard us. I guess he thinks he’s not racist, but was acting racist for us, because he thinks we’re the assholes. Yes. We’re the assholes. The dude in blackface is a swell guy, and the two ladies who are offended are the assholes. Riiight.
There was also a creepy “last call” vibe at the end of the party with some desperate dudes making some Hail Mary passes, including a man who tried to follow me into a bathroom, but I closed the door in his face. We had a five-minute conversation earlier in the evening, and there was nothing in that conversation remotely suggesting that following me into the bathroom was something I was interested in. Umm, no.
So, when you remove the blackface and the bathroom creeper, it was still a really great party. We drank a lot of really great wine at the party. How much wine did we drink? Enough wine that when we got back to our hotel we were disappointed that the nearby Applebee’s was closed. That’s right. We were so drunk that we wanted to eat at Applebee’s. Ewwwww.
Big super thanks to Kate for inviting someone who usually goes to bed by 10:30 p.m. even on Saturday nights to be her +1.