The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

Don’t stick me, bro

10 Comments

Yeah, so, it turns out I have the type of veins that don’t like to get poked with needles. So much for my lifelong dream of being an intravenous drug user.

On Friday morning, I had a few doctor appointments. I decided instead of trying to work and go to all these appointments, I would just take the day off from work. Normally, I like to use my PTO days for fun stuff such as drinking beer or staying home with a sick kid or both. Oh well.

One of the doctor appointments was for a heart test. Before I start chemo, the docs need to make sure I have a strong heart. I am so over all these tests, but I was curious about this one. I would have medical proof that I don’t have a cold, dead heart. I wanted to take a photo of the heart scan as proof. Maybe make it my profile photo on Facebook. Anyway, it turns out the test didn’t happen.

On Wednesday, I went into Kaiser for blood work, and the tech found a vein immediately and took 11 (11!) tubes of blood. This time around I wasn’t so lucky. My veins didn’t want to cooperate. This is turning into a reoccurring problem. The minute they even sense a needle is approaching my veins all run and hide. Before the mastectomy last month, the nurses poked me many, many times before finding a vein in my wrist. Eww. This time around for the heart test, the nurse was able to insert an IV, but when she went to do the injection of the special dye, it started to burn. She removed the needle and tried for a new vein. It sucked.

Hanging ou in the hospital with an IV listening to the F This Movie podcast like I always do.

Hanging out in the hospital with an IV in my hand, listening to the F This Movie podcast like I always do.

After that, it turned into a Marx Brother movie with multiple nurses and techs filing in and out of the room trying to hit a vein like the winner was going to get a prize. They stuck me in the arm a few times and even tried some veins on my feet. No prizes were awarded.

After the sixth or seventh attempt, I told them that I was done. I gave them one more chance, and if they didn’t make it rain, I was calling it quits. So, I walked out of there with little cotton balls and tape all over me from where they tried to tap the veins, but no heart test. Plus, they used a plastic tape that I had an allergic reaction to, and I got little rashes everywhere they stuck me. They had to switch to paper tape or something.

Ugh. I’m that person … with the uncooperative veins and sensitive skin. To be fair, I was really nice about it. I really was. The nurses even walked me into the waiting room and told David that I was super awesome, and he should get me some chocolate and wine STAT – and not necessarily in that order.

I’m going back for the heart test next week. On Monday, I’m getting a port. I wish I was talking about a delicious wine. Instead, I’m talking about a little thing they are going to put under my skin, right beneath my collar bone, that will basically be a direct line to a vein. A lot of people who do chemo get a port so that the nurses do not have to hunt for a vein every time. It makes sense. Of course, I was completely resistant to it because I’m a pain in the ass. To me, it was just one more procedure that I didn’t want to deal with, but after getting poked by needles repeatedly, the port is starting to sound like an awesome idea.

I’m sure you are looking forward to some awesome photos of my port next week, right? You won’t want to miss it. I can practically taste all the blog hits that post will get.

So anyway, let’s talk about some good stuff that happened.

On Friday night, I met up with some of my favorite ladies for beer at The Good Hop. A good time was had by all. My ladies really know how to cheer me up. I’m lucky to have such great friends, who make me laugh and make me feel loved and understood.

goodhoppers

On Saturday, my sister and my nieces came out to our place to hang out with Calvin, so I could take mighty, mighty good man David out for a fancy steak dinner at Harris Steakhouse in San Francisco as a belated birthday dinner. I wore my brand-new Coach Dress from ModCloth. I heart this dress. Super cute. And, ladies, it has pockets. I know, right?!

newdress

We had a wonderful dinner, and Calvin had an amazing time with his cousins. He thinks they are the coolest. And obviously, the feeling is mutual.

weheartcalvin

Read the fine print.

Read the fine print.

Sunday was our annual Oscar party. We had a ton of Oscar movie-themed food. We had Captain America: Winter Salsa, The Theory of Everything Pizza, Cool Whiplash and – of course – Birds, Man. For the full list, check out my Instagram.

Even though I had only seen one of the Oscar nominated movies (“The Lego Movie”), I still managed to correctly guess 15 out of 24 on my Oscar ballot. Not that bad. Not as good as I used to do. I think one year I actually got 23 out of 24. I don’t think I have correctly guessed them all. Anyway, I may have won the Oscar poll, but my friend Roger was the real winner of the night – meaning he won both Calvin and Homer’s hearts.

Hi Roger. We're best friends now, right?

Hi Roger. We’re best friends now, right?

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Author: The Sonia Show

I'm a writer/mocker/goober/mother in San Francisco who likes to drink beer, shop, laugh and make other people laugh, podcast, watch old movies, feed my unhealthy obsession with pop culture, kick breast cancer's ass, wear orange and root for the San Francisco Giants, participate in general jackass-ery, talk about TV, eavesdrop on strangers' conversations, make nerdy “Star Wars” and “Simpsons” references, and post personal things about myself on the web for all to read, which makes me some sort of literary exhibitionist.

10 thoughts on “Don’t stick me, bro

  1. Couple things –
    Your hair and that dress look fantastic, just so you know…

    And – once when we were kids my brother, sister and I had to get blood drawn at the health center. My sis and I were fine, then went to wait for our brother. He took FOREVER. Then, we saw nurses rushing in to the blood draw room. I joked that our brother had probably fainted or something, because he had been complaining about the blood draw so much… And yeah. He had totally passed out because they kept sticking him. Poor kid.

    You’re a brave lady. And you look good doing it.

  2. to get blood they need to catch your veins unaware, like, while dancing in the shower, or making lasagne. You have recalcitrant vein syndrome. It stems from childhood trauma at watching a particularly bloody episode of “Sky King” while eating spaghetti from the can. Homer will chew on the spigot, so keep it covered. Don’t stare at that dress too long or it will induce episodes of “Outer Limits.”

  3. I was turned away from giving blood once. The nurse said it was because I had mom veins, meaning I’ve been poked so many times (insert inappropriate laughter here) for blood tests that the veins just retreat. Uly had to get an IV inserted in his head veins once. He looked like a tiny tiny Shriner. Can your port be decorated like your hip drainage bag / cute purse? I have a glue gun.

    • The nurses have mentioned to me many times that they have put an IV in a baby’s head. SCARY! For what I understand about the port it is pretty discreet. It’s under the skin, like a quarter-size bump, under the skin beneath the collar bone. No decorating required.

  4. You’ve been in my thoughts lately – I was so sorry to read that your cancer came back.

    Just wanted to say that your experience with two things in this post really resonated with me. One, that I just had my own cancer checkup last week and my veins are not only hard to find, but due to years of cancer checkups and blood draws, I now have scar tissue in my arms that makes it even harder for them to draw blood. Well, last week was a doozy and I’m sporting a huge bruise. Rarely do I have a blood draw where they get it on the first try, so 7 or 8 times – holy crap, I’m sorry you went through that.

    Two – My sensitive skin (also more sensitive due to my cancer experience) is also allergic to the adhesive on the tape they tend to use in hospitals. After my epidural 6 months ago, I had an itchy rash on my back from the tape they used that lasted for weeks. Urg.

    So, in those small things – you’re not alone. And you’ll continue to be in my thoughts. Take care.

    • Luckily, the tape-related rash went away pretty quick. 🙂 And I’m sorry the cancer came back, too. However, I’m very glad that we caught it early, and I’m very glad that I’m only doing chemo as a precautionary measure. Although going through chemo won’t be easy, it will be easier knowing that it’s an insurance policy thing and not a “I really hope it shrinks this cancer” thing.

  5. Pingback: Everything you wanted to know about chemo but were afraid to ask | The Sonia Show

  6. Pingback: F Breast Cancer: F This Movie’s 18-Hour Podcast-A-Thon | The Sonia Show

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