I put the ‘ass’ in ‘chemo class’

February 26, 2015 by The Sonia Show 3 Comments

Yeah, so, I had to take an “Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Chemotherapy But Were Afraid To Ask” class at Kaiser.

Basically, it was a class that describes exactly what chemotherapy is, and then it lists of all the side effects and what I can do to deal with those side effects. It wasn’t my favorite way to spend 90 minutes. Also, I already knew a lot of what the class had to say because I’m pretty good at Google.

There were three other people in the class. I’m doing chemotherapy as an insurance policy. I don’t have cancer anymore. This is purely a precautionary measure. The other three people in the class … I don’t’ think that’s their case. They are doing chemo, because they have to. Two of the three were older women and they were in the class alone. I could feel how scared and anxious they were. I felt really terrible for them. It made me reach out for David’s hand, and I didn’t let go through the entire class. The other person was a man and his wife, and he was starting chemo the next day. He asked about medical marijuana. Yeah, dude. Good question. And the answer is, “Oh hell yeah.”

There was a lot of anxiety in the air in the class, so I tried to keep my assy questions to myself. For example, both diarrhea and constipation are side effects. I wanted to ask, “What happens if you get both at the same time? Do you explode?”

I decided it was better to Google that question. Here’s a tip for you: Don’t Google that question.