Yeah, so, I was getting a cup of tea at work, because I like to have a cup of tea with me in meetings. I also like to wear a monocle and talk in a British accent. It’s my new thing. I’m super proper and respectable and shit when I’m at work.
So anyway, as I was getting my tea I noticed that we have powdered non-dairy creamer in the cabinet, and I decided to read the label because apparently I don’t have enough work to do at work.
Hey Powdered Non-Dairy Creamer! Stop fuckin’ lying to yourself and everyone else. You’ve got milk listed right in your ingredients. Why does something called “non-dairy creamer” have milk in it? Isn’t that like a garden burger having meat in it?
So, I looked it up. Apparently, “non-dairy creamer” means the lactose has been removed, but it still may contain the milk protein casein.
I don’t think non-dairy creamer is a very accurate name. They should call it lactose-free creamer, or maybe “nasty fuckin’ powdered shit for your coffee.” Seriously, that stuff is gross. I don’t know. Maybe this non-dairy creamer fact is common knowledge, and you’re thinking, “Hey dumbass, everyone knows that.”
Well, you don’t need to be so rude about it. Good day! I said, GOOD DAY!
Oh, I can’t stay mad at you. Here’s a video of my kid dancing to the song from the new “Peanuts” movie.