Yeah, so, I haven’t written much about my post-cancer recovery and my panic attacks, because — happily — there hasn’t been much to say about it.
I haven’t suffered any panic attacks since the ones I wrote about back in January. I think talking and writing about my feelings and shit actually helped me. Weird.
And as for my post-cancer recovery, everything is going pretty smooth so far. Since I had an estrogen-positive cancer twice, I have received my first two doses of Lupron, which is supposed to be shutting down my ovaries, stopping the production of estrogen in my body and putting me in menopause.
I say “supposed to” because chemotherapy has really already put me in menopause, so I feel like the shots are just making sure that everything is really shut down. The Lupron is just walking around my body and making sure all the lights are turned off.
“Go home, estrogen. You’re drunk. We don’t care where you go, but you can’t stay here. ”
This way if there are any cancer cells floating around, they’re not going to get the estrogen they need. In other words, fuck you, cancer. I hope you starve to death and die.
So, yeah, I’m now a 45-year-old woman with menopause. It’s OK to be jealous.
Menopause isn’t my favorite thing, but compared to the other things I’ve gone through in the past few years, it’s not that bad. Hot flashes are so hot right now. Plus, I don’t get my period anymore, which is kinda awesome.
OK, enough talking about periods and menopause. Let’s dance!