Yeah, so, my mighty, mighty good boy Calvin and I had a great birthday. Thanks for asking, you guys.
In the past, my mighty, mighty good man David and I took the day off from work, and we kept Calvin home from preschool and we did something fun. This year, we decided to send Calvin to school so he could have an afternoon cupcake party with his school buddies.
There are birthday parties at the preschool all the time, but the parents always bring in cupcakes made with egg, and since Calvin is allergic he can’t join in. Sometimes, the teachers give us a heads up and I bring in a special vegan cupcake for Calvin, or another special treat like popcorn. And sometimes the parents remember Calvin’s allergy and they bring in Oreos for him, which he loves, but they are no cupcakes.
This year instead of making 35 vegan cupcakes from scratch for the kids, I opted to use an egg replacer and made funfetti cupcakes from a box, because I’m busy and how dare you judge me! I don’t think they taste as good as my cupcakes, if I don’t say so myself, but they turned out great, and the kids were happy – especially Calvin. See?
On Saturday, we had a little barbecue at our place for both Calvin’s birthday and my birthday (because ME ME ME), and I made my cupcakes for that party, so you can back off, Judgey McJudgeinstein.
We had a little pre-party excitement in that Toby decided to make a run for it again. Bad dog. This time I was walking him down the front steps and he was startled by a loud noise and wiggled right out of his collar. You see, I had just slapped the leash on his collar instead of using his harness. That will never happen again.
So, 20 minutes before the party was supposed to start, our dog ran away. Awesome, right?
David was at the store getting ice, so Calvin and I chased him for a while but he’s super fast, and we couldn’t keep up. Eventually, David came home, and he tagged in, and Calvin and I went back to the house to await guests.
I was upset. “Where’s your new dog, Sonia?” they’d ask. “Oh, he ran away,” I’d have to say.
I started panicking. I mean, really panicking, like having a panic attack. I was hyperventilating. I was thinking about taking an Ativan, but instead I called my sister, because I knew she was on her way to the party. While I was on the phone with her, David walked through the door with Toby. With the help of some amazing neighbors, David was able to catch him before any of the guests had arrived.
I was so relieved. I started hugging David and crying. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” I cried. “He got away from me. I’m so sorry.” I was sobbing
Calvin came up to me. “Mommy’s crying,” and he hugged me.
After that, I opened a beer, and that seemed to help settle me down. Beer is awesome like that.
The party was a big success … I think everyone had a good time. There was one other unfortunate event. My buddies Beegs and Sass’ little 2-year-old boy Levi got sick. He vomited a few times. Meh. Toddlers throw up, right? We were sure he was fine.
Well, it turns out that he had a nasty stomach flu. Beegs got it. Sass got it. My aunt Jeanne got it, and then I got it. What an unexpected party favor for everyone! Eh, what can you do? Kids get sick. It happens. It was a nasty flu. I feel bad that little Levi was that sick. Poor kid.
So, Sunday was my birthday, but luckily for me, this virus didn’t kick in until Monday morning. I’m so lucky, right?
Actually I do feel lucky. I had a good birthday. We took Toby to the dog park. Then we got back in time to watch the Giants beat the Dodgers and secure a spot in the Wild Card game, which they won on Wednesday, by the way, because even year, duh. Good buddy Kate came over to Calvin sit, and David and I went to dinner at a vegan sushi restaurant. Vegan sushi is a thing, and it’s awesome.
One of the sushi rolls in the restaurant listed “suspense” as an ingredient.
Me: “What does suspense taste like?”
Waitress: “Actually, this roll comes with a shot of sake, and one of the pieces has a super-hot spice in it. If you eat the spicy piece, you get to drink the sake shot. That’s the suspense.”
David: “If you really want suspense, you should hide meat in one of the pieces.”
I had a delicious dinner with my handsome husband, who bought me a dorktastic “Star Trek” necklace that I absolutely adore. Sure, the next morning I had a stomach flu that knocked me on my ass for two days, but I’ve been sicker.
Seriously, every day is like my birthday with these guys. I couldn’t be happier.