Yeah, so, my mighty, mighty good boy Calvin started first grade today. *sobs*
This summer was Calvin’s first real taste of what summer is. He’s always been in his nanny share or preschool, and that was year-round, so summer didn’t mean much. It didn’t even mean the weather got warmer, because we live in San Francisco. Our summer weather comes in September and October.
This summer has been filled with summer camps and swimming. Every week was a new adventure, and for a boy who loves routine, Calvin really adapted to it quickly. For weeks he’s been saying that he wants the school to stay closed, but we’ve been preparing him for going back.
He was in good spirits this morning. He was excited waiting for the school bus. And when he got on the bus, his classmate Ethan was there. Ethan is predominantly nonverbal, but he got a huge smile on his face when he saw Calvin.
“Ethan!” Calvin was so happy to see his friend.
Ethan reached out and grabbed Calvin’s hand and kissed it.
It might be the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen. I almost started crying right there on the bus.
I helped Calvin with his seatbelt and kissed him on the head.
Then David and I got off the bus and waved at Calvin through the window. That’s when we could tell he was putting on his brave face through his tears.
He’s so brave.
We spoke with his teacher when we picked him up for his speech appointment, and she said he was so happy all day. “He was an angel.” #humblebrag
Thank god he’s not like me. I lost my shit every first day of school until 7th grade. I mean, really lost my shit. Holding on to the car door handle, screaming and crying. My mom had to pry my hands off the car and drag me into the class.
I wish I was joking.
For some reason, I associated the first day of school with getting older, and when you get old, you die. Pretty fucked up, right? I know what you’re thinking, “Ummm, that’s what birthdays are.” I didn’t associate my birthday with getting older. I was probably distracted by gifts and cake. Every new school year meant I was just one step closer to dying. I have no explanation for why I thought this, even though, really, I wasn’t wrong.
When my niece Lorelei was younger, she started doing the same thing to my sister, even offering the same explanation to Michelle about why she was so upset. Lorelei really is Tiny Sonia.
And this wasn’t just a first day of school thing: It was a first week of school thing. What a goddamn nightmare for my mother. When I ask her about it now, she tells me how it was THE WORST. I can only imagine how awful it must have been for her.
Thankfully, Calvin isn’t like me in that way. However, he is sweet, funny and a snazzy dresser, just like me. Just kidding. He got all of that from David.