The Sonia Show

Writer. Podcaster. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.


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Mind Your Business

Yeah, so, here’s a scene from my upcoming play, “Let Me Sleep FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!”

Mind: “‘Sup?”

Me: “I’m sleeping. Fuck off.”

Mind: “You need to pee.”

Me: “Ugh. Fine.”

uses bathroom

Me: “Happy now?”

Mind: “Not really. I’m worried.”

Me: “Go to sleep.”

Mind: “Cancer. I’m worried about cancer. Also, this country is fucked up, and I’m worried that we’re going to die of cancer, and we won’t be around to protect our son.”

Me: “I’m trying to sleep.”

Mind: “Also, what’s the weather going to be? What should we wear?”

Me: “Please, for the love of god, I’m trying to sleep.”

Mind: “We have meetings most of the day. Someone is probably going to ask us a question, and we’re not going to know the answer. That’s going to suck.”

Me: “Quiet, please.”

Mind: “Of course, work stuff doesn’t really matter. We’ve probably got cancer again.”

Me: “SLEEPING NOW!”

10 minutes later.

Mind: Hey, you up?

And scene.

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The spin doctors

Yeah, so, I know you guys are aching to know if I went back to yoga, or was I too embarrassed to show my crying face in that class again?

I went back. And back. And back. I was kicking ass, and feeling so good about myself.

And then …

I got vertigo.

I know, right?! I’m so lucky, you guys! I get the best stuff.

Ugh.

I’ve put in my time with illnesses such as breast cancer (twice) and other bullshit. It’s my time to be healthy, dammit! I woke up one morning, and I couldn’t walk because the entire world was spinning. I had to call out to my mighty, mighty good man David, because I was so scared.

I immediately started panicking, so I took an Ativan and went back to bed. I slept until 2 p.m., and when I woke up I felt less spinny. But, I had a heavy head, like I had a head cold, but I didn’t have a head cold.

So, I had David drive me to Kaiser … on his birthday! I mean, what do you get the man who has everything? A wife with vertigo, I guess.

The doctor told me I had vertigo, and he recommended the Epley maneuver to help me. He also did some blood work to make sure I wasn’t dying and prescribed some sort of Dramamine.

So, yeah, I’ve been doing that maneuver, and it’s been helping. I also started acupuncture again. Acupuncture helps with the vertigo, and it is also helping me with the anxiety that having vertigo has given me. Now that I’ve had vertigo experience, I have all this anxiety that I’m going to get vertigo again, which makes me feel spinny and lightheaded. It’s the circle of anxiety and vertigo! Wheeeeeee!

I did give myself an entire day to feel sorry for myself. I was in a great routine with yoga and going to the gym. I was feeling really healthy and happy. This vertigo really threw me off balance, physically and emotionally. I was not happy. I was really grumpy, so I ordered delivery for dinner and drank a big beer.

But, the vertigo is under enough control that I was able to return to yoga this week, which makes me happy. I returned to my crying class on Tuesday, and – as usual – I was completely struggling. But, instead of bawling like last time, I told myself that I can only do what I can do. And, as the great thought leader Daniel Tiger says, “Keep trying, you’ll get better.”