Yeah, so, the Oscars are coming up soon, so Margo and I decided to dork out about one of the least popular Best Picture winners in recent years, “Crash,” starring Hollywood’s biggest stars AND Tony Danza.
We have a lot of thoughts and feelings about this one, including but not limited to “what the fuck,” “are you fuckin’ kidding me,” and “this is a bullshit movie.”
Yeah, so, my office husband John and I have a running commentary about people bringing dogs into grocery stores.
Look I love dogs (and cats and animals – you know I do), but unless they are service dogs or comfort dogs, they probably shouldn’t be in the grocery store.
John and I text every weekend about it.
Me: “I saw three dogs at Safeway.”
John: “I saw four dogs at Trader Joe’s.”
We also text about different flavor Oreos we find, but I’ll save that for another blog post.
On Sunday, David, Calvin and I went to Target. David was on the other side of store from me, when he texted: “Where are you? There’s a man walking a cat on a leash here.”
David came running up to me,” You need to get a photo for John.”
I think we might be taking this whole “pets in the store” thing too far, but at the same time, Target does have really good deals – and even cats like a good deal.
Yeah, so, a few weeks ago I did something I thought I’d never do.
No, I didn’t vote for a Republican.
No, I didn’t donate money to the NRA.
That’s disgusting. Get your mind out of the gutter.
I chaperoned a field trip for my mighty, mighty good boy Calvin’s school. The kindergarten classes were visiting the California Academy of Sciences, and the kindergarteners in Calvin’s special day class were invited to go, too.
I learned a few things on this field trip.
- Starfish are not really fish.
- The Academy of Sciences has penguins!
- I don’t really know how to talk to kids that are not Calvin.
There were four kids to a group with one or two parents each. The students from the Special Day Class were divided into the groups, and each SDC student had their own dedicated chaperone (their parent or a special aide).
So, Calvin was in a group of three kids from the mainstream kindergarten class, and there was another parent chaperoning the group, too, which is good, because see the third bulletpoint.
Me talking to kids is pretty similar to me talking to adults. I ask them what movies or TV shows they are currently watching, and then I crap all over them. “My Little Pony? Ugh. Really? That shit is so 2015. Grow up!”
Actually, I usually tell them that I like something they’re wearing. “I like your cat ears headband.” “Cool Pokemon shirt. That’s a Pokemon, right? Oh, it’s Minecraft. Is there a difference?” And then I wrap up the stimulating conversation with something like, “I need to go stand over here now and do some serious adulting,” and then go lean against the wall and look at my phone.
I have no problem talking to Calvin. We talk about trains, trucks and buses. We recite lines of dialogue from “Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood.” But other kids want to talk about their thoughts and feelings.
This became really obvious when we sat down to lunch. Our group is sitting at a table, and there is this awkward silence. No small feat considering it’s a table of 5 and 6 year olds, who normally can’t stop talking. Finally, the other parent, this really nice woman whose name I can’t remember because I’m an asshole, said, “Do you know any jokes?” And the kids started falling all over themselves to tell jokes.
It would have never occurred to me to ask that question. Calvin doesn’t tell jokes. He’s funny. He’s got a great sense of humor. But it’s not a “knock knock. Who’s there” humor. It’s more like, “I’m going to try to wear the dog as a hat” sense of humor. It’s “I’m going to refer to Mommy as Daddy” humor.
I would say the closest thing to a Calvin joke is this: He was in a bathtub, and he looked at me, crossed his eyes and said, “I’ve got two mommies.” I laughed really hard, which turned it into a thing. “Two daddies.” “Two Tobys.”
The other thing I noticed during the field trip: Every boy was wearing something superhero or “Star Wars” related. Shirts, jackets, shoes: All Iron Man, Captain America, Darth Vader, Spiderman, etc. Calvin doesn’t watch any of that stuff. He doesn’t even know who those people are. These kids probably don’t know Calvin is autistic. They probably think he’s Amish.
Yeah, so, this year hasn’t been awesome.
We have a sexual predator in the White House, and – with the help of an enabling GOP – he is attacking this country’s most vulnerable citizens, including the sick, elderly, disabled and immigrants. It’s disgusting and depressing as fuck. It fills me with rage.
I have donated money to organizations and candidates who are helping people and fighting for what’s right. I’ve been calling my reps, and occasionally reps in other districts since their votes affect me. I do what I can handle, and it makes me feel a little less helpless.
BUT, I wanted to focus on some good things that happened this year in the MansTracy household.
My mighty, mighty good boy Calvin started kindergarten, and he is flourishing. He’s so happy, and he’s learning so much. His language skills have improved by leaps and bounds.
I got a new job … kinda. The big corporate overload moved me from the Oakland office where I was the lone content person from the past 8 years to the San Francisco office to join the content team. And instead of just working on content for one brand, I will be working on the content with the team on all the brands. I’m really excited and nervous. Writing is in my comfort zone. Thinking big picture is outside my comfort zone. But, I’m down to expand my skillset. Plus, I super love being in the SF office. Not only has it cut my commute in half (and I’m taking BART instead of driving), but I absolutely adore my content coworkers. They are fuckin’ rad as hell.
I got on an airplane all by myself for the first time ever. True story. I met up with my mighty, mighty good man David in Portland after his work trip. We had a great time exploring the city, which is swimming in vegan options for me and beer for both of us. Plus, we got to see our friends Caitlin and Kirk, which made the trip even more awesome.
I got to go to Washington, DC to see my good buddy Katie and her husband Nathan. I finally got to see their house, and we spent some awesome time together walking around the Newseum, going to a Nationals game and sitting on the couch watching YouTube videos, because that’s how we roll.
We went to Santa Cruz again this year for our little family vacation, and we had an amazing time. Calvin has been asking to go back pretty much every day since we got back.
I started baking bread this year. I have always wanted to bake my own bread, but I thought it was too difficult and too time consuming. I found a perfect bread baking book: “Bread Illustrated” from America’s Test Kitchen.
My sister Michelle and my sister from another mister, Amanda, did a spa day at the Sonoma Mission Inn. We got massages and lounged by the pool with drinks. It was heaven.
I went to Bourbon & Branch for David’s birthday, and I discovered that I like gin. That’s a good thing.
My 15-year-old (!) niece Lorelei came out for the weekend, and we saw “IT” at the Alamo Drafthouse. Lorelei is a Tiny Sonia, so I knew she would love the Alamo Drafthouse. We had so much fun hanging out together. I was scared to see “IT.” I thought it was really fuck me up, but it turns out that I loved being scared about something other than the news.
After our weekend together, I went on a scary movie watching spree. It turns out I love horror movies! Funny enough, I’ve been listening to F This Movie for years, and the host Patrick Bromley is always taking about horror movies. Now I have the courage to actually watch all those movies he’s talking about.
Speaking of podcasts, Dorking Out with Chris & Sonia is still going strong. We recorded a podcast every week, except for one week. Even dorks need a week off once in a while. Super-big, mad props to my co-host Smith for keeping us on schedule, and all the work he does recording the podcast. Oh, and we got this amazing new logo by Jeff Heerman.
I’ll end this post with what everyone wants to see: Dog and cat cuddling action!
Happy New Year, you guys! Let’s hope that 2018 is chrome and shiny.
Yeah, so, we went on and on about “Star Wars: The Last Jedi” on Dorking Out with Chris & Sonia.
In episode 79, we review “The Last Jedi” with Raymond Scott Daigle, who used to work for Lucasfilm. I really loved the movie, even though I thought it was a little too long. I sing the praises of Mark Hamill, and mourn the loss of Carrie Fisher. Also, I think the Porgs are adorable, and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise.
In episode 80, Scott sticks around for a State Of The Star Wars Galaxy discussion, in which we chat about all the upcoming “Star Wars” projects, including the Han Solo movie and “Star Wars: Episode 9.” Plus, Scott tries to convince us to watch “The Clone Wars” and “Star Wars Rebels.”
In episode 81, we talk about “Star Wars” stories we’d like to see. A Star Wars horror movie? A Star Wars romantic comedy? Why not? The podcast goes off the rails because, ummm, someone didn’t do their homework.
And finally, if you’re sick of “Star Wars” (whaaaaaaat?!), you might enjoy episode 82, our podcast in which we share some underappreciated family movies. It was a perfect opportunity for me to talk about “A Town Called Panic.”
Yeah, so, I have two really good episodes of Dorking Out with Chris & Sonia for you.
In episode 74, we review Pixar’s “Coco,” and we’re joined by my mighty, mighty good man David and Juan Uriarte of the Instant Ramen podcast. After we chat about “Coco,” we share some underappreciated animated movies. We’ve got some comments that it’s one of our funniest episodes ever, so you should definitely listen.
In episode 75, Smith and I review “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri,” which turns into a really interesting discussion about all the sexual harassment and sexual abuse news and stories that just go off the rails. In our second segment, BFF of the show, Peter Brown, associate editor of Assignment X joins us to talk about the new trailer for “Avengers: Infinity War.” Then we end the show with me going on and on about my love of Sam Rockwell. It’s really fun. You should listen to that one, too. If you don’t I’ll kick you in the crotch,
Yeah, so, we’ve got a few really good episodes of Dorking Out with Chris & Sonia.
This week episode, we reviewed “Justice League,” which – surprisingly – I kinda liked. It’s a mess of a movie, but there was enough in it that I enjoyed for me to give it a recommendation.
In our second segment, I go on and on about my love for “Lady Bird.” Seriously, you guys, see “Lady Bird.” I also talk about “Alias Grace” on Netflix, which is really worth watching. It’s only 6 episodes, so do it!
You can listen to it riiight here.
In last week’s episode, we shared some movies we’d like to see rebooted or remade. I don’t have the knee-jerk aversion to remakes that a lot of people have. I think there are plenty of stories that can be retold and updated in a new way. I picked – wait for it – the “Before” franchise: “Before Sunrise,” “Before Sunset” and “Before Midnight.” Now, before you get out your pitchforks, listen to the episode, because I justify my pick with really good casting choices.
Smith and I also talk about all the sexual harassment and sexual abuse allegations in Hollywood. My short answer: Fuck these people. Let’s make room for creative artists who don’t sexual harass and abuse people.
You can listen to that episode riiight here.
Yeah, so, I accidentally took a little break from blogging. Sorry about that. I was swamped at work all day for a few weeks, and the last thing I want to do is turn on the computer and write when I got home, which really isn’t like me. I like writing.
I’ve got a few stories to share about Halloween and shit like that, which I’ll try to publish before Thanksgiving. In the meantime, I’ve got a few episodes of Dorking Out for you.
Dorking Out Episode 69: We reviewed “Battle Of The Sexes,” starring Emma Stone and Steve Carell. Plus, the ol’ Pop Show podcast gang reunites, including Anthony C. Ferrante, Ryan Mitchelle and Peter Brown, to talk about our favorite scary movies.
Dorking Out Episode 70: We review “Mindhunter” on Netflix, which is really, really good, you guys! I know you’re all watching “Stranger Things,” but when you’re finished with that, you should watch “Mindhunter.”
Yeah, so, it’s Friday! Also, the country is shit. Wheeeee!
Let’s try to have some fun. Here’s six things I’m loving right now.
1. “Rick and Morty”
I know, I know. Everyone loves “Rick and Morty,” but my mighty, mighty good man David and I just started watching it a month or so ago. The show is hilarious, and strangely dark and serious occasionally. It brings us so much joy. We are always sharing scenes with each other and giggling, like this sext I sent David.
One of my favorite podcasting people and friend of Dorking Out, Margo D. from Book vs. Movie, has another podcast that she co-hosts called The Best Neighbors Podcast. She co-hosts it with her neighbor Erin (hence the name). They just talk about TV, movies, podcasts – the same thing we talk about on Dorking Out, but it really feels like a conversation with your favorite girlfriends. I love it. You should listen.
3. “Battle Of The Sexes”
You guys! You need to see “Battle Of The Sexes.” I really, really, REALLY liked it.
With all the sexism and discrimination in Trump’s America right now, I think we all need to see this movie. We’re going to review it in next week’s Dorking Out, so I won’t go on and on here, but it’s a great movie. It’s probably going to be one of my favorites of the year.
Whenever I hate the internet, I read stuff like this to remind me that there are some people who are still having fun out there.
5. Scary movies
I saw “It” a few weeks ago, and it felt so good to be scared of something that wasn’t the news. I’ve been chasing that feeling ever since, and I started watching scary movies at home. I’ve watched “John Carpenter’s The Thing,” “The Witch,” “Beyond The Gates,” “Tales Of Halloween” and “The Monster Squad.”
Of those movies I’d say that ‘The Witch” is the one that legit creepy and scary – the kind of horror movie that sticks with you. “Tales Of Halloween” and “The Thing” are scary fun. And “Monster Squad isn’t really scary. It’s more of a “Goonies” with monsters, but I’m putting it on this list anyway, dammit, because it’s my blog.
If you like scary movies, my favorite podcast F This Movie hosts Scary Movie Month. Everyone watches scary movies and writes seven-word reviews on their website. The reviews are amazing.
6. This tweet.
Ha ha! I love it when brands have fun on social media.