The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

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Dorking Out Episode 36: Oscar Party

Yeah, so, in this week’s episode of Dorking Out we try to figure out what the hell happened at the Oscars. What a cluster!

My co-host Smith actually came to my Oscar party, so I got to beat him in the Oscar pool in person, which is pretty fuckin’ rad. Oh, and we got to record the podcast while actually being in the same room together for the first time ever. That’s pretty fuckin’ rad, too.

Smith and I recorded a gaggle of Facebook Live videos throughout the broadcast, so if want to see what we really look like I suggest you check them out on Dorking Out’s Facebook page.

We have a crazy story about how my TV decided to crap out during the most important moment on the show. You should definitely listen to the podcast, so you can listen to me freak out about it. Also, I had been drinking, and that’s always entertaining.


So, I predicted 16 out of 24 correctly, which is not super good, but it was enough to beat Smith, who guessed 15 correct. However, my friend Roger beat both of us, guessing 17 out of 24 correctly. That means he won the big ol’ bucket of movie theater candy.

We had a ton of Oscar-themed food this year, including enchi-La Las, Hacksaw Rice, Moonwine, Manchester By The Caesar, Hell Or High Water Farmhouse Dip, Guac-topia, Suicide Salsa, Kubo And The Two String Cheeses and Ale, Caesar (beer, duh). And, Roger and Katherine bought some “Jackie”-themed ice cream, which my high maintenance vegan ass couldn’t even eat. I heard it was good, though.


So, yeah, I wore my “Oscar wiener” dress and Toby dressed up, too, in honor of my Homer, who was very, very missed. He always wore a bow tie on Oscar Sunday.




So anyway, you can listen to Dorking Out here, or you can find us on iTunes, Stitcher and YouTube. If you listen to the show, I’d love to hear what you think. You can comment here, or on our website or Facebook page.

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Plaid Pants, Herb Gardens And Other Things I’m Loving Right Now

Yeah, so, let’s talk about the six things I’m loving right now.

The Pant from American Giant


My mighty, mighty good man David is American Giant’s biggest fanboy. He’s always buying hoodies and sweatshirts from them. He’s the one who gave me the heads up about these pants, and I’m so glad he did. These pants are rad. They are comfortable and cute. They are perfect for lounging around the house and walking the dog, but if I put on a pair of boots and a cute top, you’d never know how comfortable I am.

Plaid Pants From ModCloth


Speaking of pants, I bought these plaid pants from ModCloth, and I’m in love with them. I immediately went back and ordered a second pair in blue and green plaid. They are so stylish (if I don’t say so myself) and, well, they are just more fun than wearing jeans. I dress them up with some cute flats and a top, or dress ‘em down with my Converse and graphic tee.

My New Herb Garden


I would be a terrible farmer. I kill all plants, and I look terrible in overalls.  David bought me an Aerospace Herb Garden for Christmas. It’s a small, counter top herb garden with a digital display that tells me when to water it, when to put in nutrients. Basically, it prevents me from killing it. I’m growing basil, thyme, dill, parsley, Thai basil and mint. And, as you can see, after two weeks I still haven’t managed to murder the herbs. I can’t wait to cook with them.

A Series Of Unfortunate Events

I don’t want to write about it too much here, because we’re going to talk about it on next week’s podcast. BUT, I really like what I’ve seen so far of this Netflix series. It’s got a “Pushing Daisies” vibe about it, and I’m digging it. I never read the books or saw the Jim Carrey movie. My niece Lorelei read all the books, and she’s a big fan of the series, watching all eight episodes in one day.

This Guy


My good buddy Smith, co-host of Dorking Out with Chris and Sonia, works really hard on our show. I need to give him shout-out. While I’m the one that’s managing the blog and social media channels, he’s the one doing the much more difficult production work on Dorking Out, Dorking Out About Trailers, the Special Bulletins, AND the Pop Show for Assignment X. That’s a lot of unpaid work. I give him a lot of shit on the show, but he’s actually a good guy and a talented writer. You’ll get to find out for yourself soon when he releases his book, “Jett Jergens And The Infinity Key.” And that’s the last nice thing I’m going to say about him for a while, because if I say anymore he’ll get an even bigger head.

This Tweet



Seriously, I’ve been laughing about this tweet since I saw it earlier this week.


The Worst Wedding Photo Ever Taken

Yeah, so, this might be the worst wedding photo ever taken. It’s certainly the worst photo of me ever taken.

Let me set the scene … A three years ago in August, one of my longest friends (we don’t say oldest) Amanda got married. My sister Michelle and I were bridesmaids. It was a Gatsby-themed wedding, so we had flapper-style dresses and headbands. It was so hot that day – like 100 degrees. I was so damn hot. I was sweating through my Spanx. After the lovely ceremony, the photographer herded us together for photos. She took a lot of photos.

“Stand here.”

“Put your hand there.”

“Sit on his lap.”

“Give him a kiss on the cheek.”

It just went on and on. I was so over it. We were all over it. We were all ready for a cool drink … a cool drink with booze.

“OK, everybody jump in the air.”

So we jumped, and this is what happened.


Everything about this photo is wrong.

First of all, why did the wedding photographer even send this photo to Amanda? This photo should have been deleted. You only send the good ones to the bride and groom – not this grotesque outtake.

Second, Michelle’s dress flew up and her underwear is showing. I’ve modified the photo to protect Michelle’s private parts from the internet. The groom, Brock, looks like he is hanging in mid-air. The bride is making a crazy face. The groomsmen look goofy. And then there’s me …

I don’t even know what to say about me in this photo. For some reason, I opted to not jump and instead decided to try to make it look like I’m jumping. Apparently, this is what I think someone jumping looks like.


It’s not even close. I don’t know why I didn’t just jump. It makes absolutely no sense that I would pose myself to make it look like I was jumping, and then stand like this, which does not look like I’m jumping. I think I’m standing on my tippy-toes so I look taller. WTF? “Sonia is obviously jumping. She looks an inch taller.”

Also, I wonder if Amanda and Brock noticed that I brought two guests to their wedding. I brought my husband David and my double chin.


And what the hell am I doing with my hand? My hand is deformed into some sort of hook hand. Is my hook hand supposed to make it look like I’m jumping? Did I think that’s what people do to their hands when they jump in the air? I have no logical explanation. “Sonia is obviously jumping. She’s an inch taller, and she’s got the hook hand.”


I have been holding on to this photo for three years. I have no idea why I waited so long to write about it. I think I was kinda intimidated by the idea of writing about it – like I wouldn’t do it justice. But the truth is I don’t need to say anything about this photo. It’s an epic wedding photo fail, and the photo is worth more than a thousand words.



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Birthday Wrap Up

Yeah, so, my mighty, mighty good boy Calvin and I had a great birthday. Thanks for asking, you guys.

In the past, my mighty, mighty good man David and I took the day off from work, and we kept Calvin home from preschool and we did something fun. This year, we decided to send Calvin to school so he could have an afternoon cupcake party with his school buddies.

There are birthday parties at the preschool all the time, but the parents always bring in cupcakes made with egg, and since Calvin is allergic he can’t join in. Sometimes, the teachers give us a heads up and I bring in a special vegan cupcake for Calvin, or another special treat like popcorn. And sometimes the parents remember Calvin’s allergy and they bring in Oreos for him, which he loves, but they are no cupcakes.

This year instead of making 35 vegan cupcakes from scratch for the kids, I opted to use an egg replacer and made funfetti cupcakes from a box, because I’m busy and how dare you judge me! I don’t think they taste as good as my cupcakes, if I don’t say so myself, but they turned out great, and the kids were happy – especially Calvin. See?


On Saturday, we had a little barbecue at our place for both Calvin’s birthday and my birthday (because ME ME ME), and I made my cupcakes for that party, so you can back off, Judgey McJudgeinstein.

We had a little pre-party excitement in that Toby decided to make a run for it again. Bad dog. This time I was walking him down the front steps and he was startled by a loud noise and wiggled right out of his collar. You see, I had just slapped the leash on his collar instead of using his harness. That will never happen again.

So, 20 minutes before the party was supposed to start, our dog ran away. Awesome, right?

David was at the store getting ice, so Calvin and I chased him for a while but he’s super fast, and we couldn’t keep up. Eventually, David came home, and he tagged in, and Calvin and I went back to the house to await guests.

I was upset. “Where’s your new dog, Sonia?” they’d ask. “Oh, he ran away,” I’d have to say.

I started panicking. I mean, really panicking, like having a panic attack. I was hyperventilating. I was thinking about taking an Ativan, but instead I called my sister, because I knew she was on her way to the party. While I was on the phone with her, David walked through the door with Toby. With the help of some amazing neighbors, David was able to catch him before any of the guests had arrived.

I was so relieved. I started hugging David and crying. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” I cried. “He got away from me. I’m so sorry.” I was sobbing

Calvin came up to me. “Mommy’s crying,” and he hugged me.

After that, I opened a beer, and that seemed to help settle me down. Beer is awesome like that.


“I love to make Sonia cry. It’s my thing.”

The party was a big success … I think everyone had a good time. There was one other unfortunate event. My buddies Beegs and Sass’ little 2-year-old boy Levi got sick. He vomited a few times. Meh. Toddlers throw up, right? We were sure he was fine.

Well, it turns out that he had a nasty stomach flu. Beegs got it. Sass got it. My aunt Jeanne got it, and then I got it. What an unexpected party favor for everyone! Eh, what can you do? Kids get sick. It happens. It was a nasty flu. I feel bad that little Levi was that sick. Poor kid.

So, Sunday was my birthday, but luckily for me, this virus didn’t kick in until Monday morning. I’m so lucky, right?

Actually I do feel lucky. I had a good birthday. We took Toby to the dog park. Then we got back in time to watch the Giants beat the Dodgers and secure a spot in the Wild Card game, which they won on Wednesday, by the way, because even year, duh. Good buddy Kate came over to Calvin sit, and David and I went to dinner at a vegan sushi restaurant. Vegan sushi is a thing, and it’s awesome.



One of the sushi rolls in the restaurant listed “suspense” as an ingredient.

Me: “What does suspense taste like?”
Waitress: “Actually, this roll comes with a shot of sake, and one of the pieces has a super-hot spice in it. If you eat the spicy piece, you get to drink the sake shot. That’s the suspense.”
David: “If you really want suspense, you should hide meat in one of the pieces.”

I had a delicious dinner with my handsome husband, who bought me a dorktastic “Star Trek” necklace that I absolutely adore. Sure, the next morning I had a stomach flu that knocked me on my ass for two days, but I’ve been sicker.


Seriously, every day is like my birthday with these guys. I couldn’t be happier.



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Beach bums

Yeah, so, last weekend we went to Santa Cruz for some much-deserved fun.

My sister and her family go to Santa Cruz every year for three or four days. They’ve been going for years. They stay at a hotel near the boardwalk, and they just ride the rides, hit the beach and all that fun stuff. Other friends and family join them for a few days, but for years we didn’t go. We had other things going on or whatever. Last year, we went for a day trip, and we had a great time. This time, we decided to go for a few days.

But first, on our way to Santa Cruz, we visited Roaring Camp Railroad, which has a steam train. Apparently, for a few weeks out of the year, they dress up the train like Thomas the Tank Engine, and kids lose the fuckin’ shit for it, and it’s crowded as hell. We didn’t bother with that. Calvin just loves trains. It doesn’t matter if it’s Thomas or not. And when the steam train rolled up, Calvin’s mouth dropped. He was shaking he was so excited. It wasn’t a BART train. It wasn’t some little train at the zoo. It was a real train!


All of the really good photos are by mighty, mighty good man David


We booked a room at the Dream Inn in Santa Cruz because we’re so fancy. Also, David had points he could use to make it affordable. I love being near the water, and I love going to sleep to the sound of the ocean. This room had an ocean view and a heated pool (Calvin’s favorite). Calvin would wake in the morning and immediately ask, “Go to the pool?” It was Calvin heaven. It had an ocean view and room service, so it was my idea of heaven, too.


A view!

When we weren’t lounging in our fancy hotel room, swimming in the heated pool or ordering room service for breakfast (because we’re not animals, you guys), we were walking the boardwalk or hanging out on the beach with our family and friends.

She's my best friend and my sister.

She’s my best friend and my sister.

I don’t want to brag, but it was super fun. I thought Calvin might be overwhelmed by the boardwalk. It can be crowded and loud. There’s a lot going on, but he really liked looking around.


He had no interest in partaking of the rides, which is fine by me, because I don’t want to ride them either. I’m too old for roller coasters. They make me wanna puke. Also, I’m afraid they will cause me to die. But, Calvin loved walking up and down the boardwalk, especially at night with all the lights.

Unlike last year, in which he spent all his time sitting in a tide pool (or what I refer to as the seagull’s toilet), Calvin actually enjoyed playing in the sand this time. He loved smashing other people’s sand castles (bully!), and digging and filling up holes.


We even had some good luck getting him to sit down in a restaurant – after we bribed him with things like chocolate milk or ice cream. Plus, he was really hungry from all the sand castle smashing.


We had such an awesome time hanging out with everyone. And I love seeing Calvin playing with his cousins. After everything we went through last year, I know how much these moments mean to all of us. And Calvin is old enough know that he is going to start remembering these trips. He will say, “My family used to go to Santa Cruz every year. It was rad.” OK, maybe he won’t say “rad” but you get the idea.

I know Calvin had a good time, because within hours of being home Calvin said to us, “I want to go back to the beach.” And the next morning, he said, “I want to go to the pool.”

Same here, kid.

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My buddy

Yeah, so, my mighty, mighty good man David is traveling for work again this week, so The Boy and I are on our own. He’s my buddy. My buddy. Everywhere I go, he goes. My buddy.


We have the same haircut.

On Sunday, we went for a hike through Glen Park Canyon with good buddy Kate and her dog, Foxie, who is Calvin’s favorite. I made the mistake of mentioning on Saturday that we would be seeing Foxie on Sunday. I spent the rest of Saturday explaining he was seeing Foxie on Sunday. It was pretty much this.

We had a good time on the hike. Glen Park Canyon is really great. The trail is as easy or complicated as you choose to make it. Sometimes, Calvin chooses to make it complicated.


Photo by good buddy Kate

On Monday, with my babysitter husband out of town, I had to bring Calvin with me to my hair appointment. Every six or seven weeks I get my hair cut and colored with my sister Michelle, my niece Lorelei and one of my oldest friends Amanda. After our appointment, we go out to dinner, where I usually drink too much wine, and then drunken snap selfies of my new ‘do while I ride home on BART. It’s the best.

Hanging out a hair salon with a bunch of chicks isn’t exactly Calvin’s idea of a good time, but he made the best of it.

After being such a good sport at the hair salon, he was rewarded with a milkshake, or as he likes to say, “I’m drinking ice cream.” Plus, he got to hang out with Lorelei, and that’s pretty rad.




I’m trying to braver about taking Calvin to restaurants. I get so worried about ruining people’s meals if he starts acting out. By “acting out” I mean he won’t sit down. He starts wandering the restaurant and even tries to go into the kitchen because he knows there’s something cool to watch going on back there. He’s not wrong. This time, he was pretty good. We sat outside, but there were ceiling fans inside. OMG CEILING FANS, you guys! He spent most of his time watching the fans through the window like a little creeper. I’m sure the patrons didn’t mind. “Why is that kid watching me eat?”

Peeping Calvin.

Peeping Calvin.

We have also been watching “Finding Nemo” together. It’s such a good movie – waaay better than “Finding Dory.” (I reviewed “Finding Dory” on Dorking Out – you should listen). He randomly says, “Shark bait. Oooh ha ha! He even loves the end credits song, which is “Beyond The Sea” by Robbie Williams. It has replaced the “Cars” soundtrack as his go-to music while driving to and from school. I’m not mad about it. I kinda like it. I’m just stoked he’s not into Justin Bieber or country music.

When David travels I also like to bake a treat with Calvin. He’s getting really good at stirring everything together … and licking the spoon. This time we made peanut butter cookies from a vegan cookbook. Sadly, they didn’t turn out as good as I hoped, but they were still pretty OK. Calvin didn’t have any complaints.


We are downright giddy that David comes home this afternoon. I’m not just excited because that means we can finish watching “Stranger Things.” I really miss him when he is gone, and I know Calvin does, too.





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We got dressed up and went to a wedding

Yeah, so, last week my mighty, mighty good man David and I went to Joe and Megan’s wedding in Columbia.

Joe is one of David’s oldest friends. They are practically brothers, and David has always thought of Joe’s family as, well, family. Joe was the officiant at our wedding. See?


It was time for David to return the favor. David did an awesome job, because he’s an awesome guy. He opened the ceremony with the opening lines of Prince’s “Let’s Go Crazy,” because it’s so rad. “Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to get through this thing called life. Electric word ‘life.'”


The officiant of this wedding is hot! I mean, he’s good looking, but also, he’s hot. It was like 100 degrees that day.

It was a great weekend. We got to visit with friends that we haven’t seen in a while. Plus, we had a reason to get dressed up all fancy and shit, and we love that. There was drinking and dancing – all good things.


We’re so fancy.

We had a wonderful weekend in gold rush country. We didn’t pan for gold. I guess we were feeling lucky; however we did ride shotgun on a stagecoach. #humblebrag


We didn’t bring mighty, mighty good boy Calvin to the wedding. I asked him if he wanted to go.

Me: “Do you want to go to a wedding where you have to sit still and be quiet, or do you want to go swimming with Grandma?”

Calvin: “Go swimming with Grandma.”



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Painted love

Yeah, so, in my continuing effort to get involved in more creative activities instead of just sitting around looking at social media channels to see what creative activities other people are doing, I went to my first-ever Paint Nite.

My sister Michelle and oldest friend Amanda suggested it, and – well – I couldn’t say no, because painting = creating. Also, they told me there was going to be booze, and I like booze.

I am sure I painted when I was a kid, and I painted a room once, but I’ve never painted on a canvas. I can’t even draw. Remember that time I was drawing with Calvin to entertain him?


Those are supposed to be squirrels … STOP LAUGHING AT ME!

My artistic ability is, ummm, questionable, so I was quite dubious of how my painting would turn out. However, I never walk into any new activity and assume I will be instantly good at it. All activities require practice and skill. Painting was no exception. I won’t be quitting my day job to become a full-time painter. However, I did have a really good time.

Bonus points for Paint Nite: It’s relaxing. You guys, painting is relaxing! For just a little while I didn’t think about anything else. I was just trying not to screw up my painting. I wanted to paint something that I wouldn’t be completely ashamed to show people.

Check it and see. We are totally artists now.

This is what we were supposed to paint.

This is what we were supposed to paint.


Michelle added lights to her Bay Bridge and buildings.


Amanda hella hearts Oakland.


Kate did her own thing, because she’s a rebel and doesn’t care for your rules!


I’m totally lame and tried to make mine look like the example. #goober


Buh-bye, 2015

Yeah, so, bye 2015.

I could say that it’s been fun, but then I’d be a liar. This year hasn’t been my favorite for obvious reasons. Sure, there’s been some good times. I got to feed the giraffes. My mighty, mighty good boy Calvin is doing so great with all his behavioral and speech therapy. My mighty, mighty good man David is doing awesome at work. I saw “The Force Awakens.” In fact, I saw a ton of movies and TV shows. I went vegan and loved it. I sang a Michael Jackson song with some random dude on Bart. I’m cancer free. I got to wear a lot of wigs.


I’m just so over 2015, and so ready for 2016. I’m feeling happy, excited and optimistic for the new year. I know that making New Year’s resolutions is lame, but I’m making some anyway, because I’m like Janice in Accounting, I don’t give a fuck.

In 2016, my #1 New Year’s resolution is to be nice to myself. I’m pretty nice to everyone else. Fuck you, if you think I’m not. Seriously, ask anyone and they will tell you that I’m a nice lady. Anyone who says different is an asshole. I say things to myself that I would never say to anyone else. In the New Year, I am planning to stop and take a deep breath before I start beating myself up.

My other big resolution is to consume a little less and create a little more. Whether that means writing more blog posts, cooking and baking more dishes, working on a healthier body and mind with yoga, or just creating new memories with my favorite people, I’m hoping I’ll spend less time on social media reading what other people are doing and actually do some things myself.

I spent a lot of my time this year on the couch: recovering from a surgery, chemotherapy and another surgery. I spent a lot of time on social media, specifically Facebook. And with the election coming up, I think social media is about to get really ugly. It’s a good time to limit my social media time. It will just make me angry, and you won’t like me when I’m angry, because then I start crying, and you can’t understand anything I’m saying and then I say, “Forget it. I’m fine,” but it’s really not fine, and I ball up all my anger and push it down and release it the next time we get drunk together or I get passive aggressive with you by not liking your Instagram photos and Facebook statuses. “I’m not going to like that status! That’ll learn him! Jerk!”

I’ll still be on social media, because I’m not an animal. Plus, there is a lot of great stuff out there. But I want to make an effort to use social media more wisely and thoughtfully. I don’t want to waste an hour sitting on the couch scrolling through Facebook when I could be writing, cooking, baking, reading, podcasting, watching a great movie or TV show or – oh, I don’t know – talking to someone.

What I’m trying to say is this …. During the past year, I spent a lot of time thinking about how I want to spend my time. I’m pretty sure when I’m old and gray, I won’t be thinking, “I’m sure glad I spent all that time on Facebook reading articles that pissed me off and liking people’s statuses about how [insert minor annoyance/popular singer/movie/TV show] sucks.”

Are you guys making any New Year’s resolutions? I’d love to hear ’em!

I hope you all have a rad New Year’s Eve. We’re doing our usual thing, in which David recreates one of our meals that we had on our honeymoon and then we watch “The Thin Man.” And seriously, I hope you all have a happy and healthy 2016.


The Podcast Awakens: The Sonia Show vs. The Pop Show

Yeah, so, I saw the new “Star Wars” movie “The Force Awakens” on Saturday afternoon. On Sunday night I sat down and recorded a podcast with some fellow nerds to discuss our thoughts and feelings about it.

I’m sure my tens of readers are dying to know what I thought about it. Well, now you can hear what I thought instead of reading about it like a bunch of suckers. One of my oldest friends, Anthony C. Ferrente, director of the “Sharknado” movies, invited me to on his podcast, The Pop Show. This is my first podcast that I didn’t record drunk with my husband.

We immediately dive into spoilers so if you don’t want the movie ruined for you, then maybe hold off listening until after you’ve seen it. Then after you’ve seen, don’t talk to anyone else and immediately listen to us talk about it.

You can listen to it riiiight here, or click the image below to listen in iTunes. I am pretty excited to listen to it myself. I’m sure I say all kinds of assy shit, and sadly I won’t be able to blame it on alcohol. Dang.