The Sonia Show

Writer. Podcaster. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.


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Holy Halloween, Batman!

Yeah, so, my mighty, mighty good boy Calvin isn’t really into Halloween.

If we ask him what he would like to dress up as for Halloween, we usually get the answer of “No, thank you.” We pitch him ideas and he just says no. That’s fine. People might say, “Well, autistic kids are just not into Halloween.” I don’t think that’s the case at all. I’m sure there are plenty of autistic kids and adults who love Halloween. The truth is, everyone is different; autistic or not. Some people are just not into Halloween.

Calvin isn’t anti-Halloween. If we pick out a costume, a simple one with no masks or crazy hats, he will wear it. He loves seeing other people in their costumes. And, he loves trick or treating. He’s not really interested in eating the candy, which is awesome. He just likes going from door to door and saying, “Trick or treat,” and then looking into people’s houses. Hey, I get it. I like being nosy and peeking into people’s houses, too.

Calvin will say, “Trick or treat,” and then he will comment on something in the house. “You’ve got a fan.” “Your TV is on.” “There’s a cat.” And he always says, “Thank you.” He’s very polite.

So, the good thing about Calvin not being into Halloween is we can pick whatever costume we want. A lot of people probably don’t know this about me, but I super love group costumes. Until Calvin becomes interested  in Halloween or starts actively protesting Halloween, I’ve got someone to do group costumes with. Win!

In the past, we’ve been Curious George, The Man in the Yellow Hat and a banana. We’ve also gone full-Star Trek. This year, we’re representing the DC Universe: Batman, Robin and Batgirl.

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Robin & Catwoman

We will try to trick or treat tonight, weather permitting. After that, Calvin will go to bed, and my mighty, mighty good man David and I will open a few pumpkin beers (we’re big fans of Flying Dog’s Fear Imperial Pumpkin Ale), and we will watch 1963’s “The Haunting” or maybe 1959’s “The Tingler,” starring Vincent Price. We’ve been on a Vincent Price trip lately. We’ve watched “House of Usher,” “Theater of Blood” and “Masque Of The Red Death.”

This weekend, we went to two Halloween parties. My sister and her family held their annual Halloween party. Michelle and her husband, Tony, dressed up as the Joker and Harley Quinn, without realizing that we were dressing up as Batman, Batgirl and Robin.

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Before I wrap this post up, I’ve got a serious question for you: Who wore it better?

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Happy Halloween, you guys!


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It puts the eggs in the basket when it is told or it gets the hose again

Yeah, so, I’m not really into Easter.

I mean, I haven’t been into Easter since I was a little kid. Obviously, when I was kid I was all about coloring eggs and chocolate bunnies. I’m not made of stone, people. But, as an adult with no kids … Easter, meh. It was just an excuse to go to brunch — like I needed an excuse for mid-morning/afternoon drinking.

Of course, now I have a Spawn, but my mom still needed to remind me that Easter was a thing.

Mom: “Does Calvin have an Easter basket?”
Me: “Umm, it’s Easter?”
Mom: “On Sunday it is. You’re a mom now. You need to think about these things.”
Me: “Holy shit! You’re right. I will get him a basket.”

Then my mom made arrangements for us to crash my aunt and uncle’s Easter brunch (mimosas!), which gave Calvin the opportunity to hunt for eggs with his cousins and second cousins. Thanks, Mom, for being a really good Grandma.

So, as you might remember, The Boy is allergic to eggs. He could probably pick up eggs and be fine as long as he didn’t eat them, but I figured that I didn’t want to ruin everyone’s Easter with a reenactment of the epi-pen scene from “Pulp Fiction” followed by a trip to the emergency room so I bought him some plastic eggs. At first, I wasn’t sure what to put in the plastic eggs. He doesn’t really eat candy. He’s only 18 months old. Then I came up with the brilliant idea of cheddar bunnies. The Boy loves cheddar bunnies. Problem solved.

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By the way, The Boy never touched his Easter basket. He picked the little stuffed duckling out of it and gave it a kiss. And when it came time to hunt for eggs, he picked up an egg in each hand and was like, “I’m good” and walked off. He was done for the day.

At my aunt and uncle’s house, I went outside to help my uncle hide eggs for the kids. (Oh, sorry. Spoiler alert! There’s no Easter bunny.) I was throwing eggs all over the place when my uncle said, “This is a trip. I remember hiding eggs for you. Now you were out here hiding eggs with me for your kid.” Aww, special moment. Then he said, “Sonia, you were cuter than all these kids put together.” What a nice man. He’s very nice, but a huge liar. See?

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Even back in the day, I was a total goober.


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I can’t decide: Should I be a racist or douchebag for Halloween?

Yeah, so, it went to the Halloween Spirit store, and boy was it scary. And by “scary” I mean, it’s scary that some people think these costumes are a good idea.

Here are a few of my favorites.

If you want to be a racist for Halloween, then I found the perfect costume for you.

And if you want to wear a Douchebag costume, I found this one:

I also found the popular STD Carrier costume:

Oh, and this exists.

And, if you are looking to dress up as me for Halloween, or if you ever wondered where I bought my glasses, then look for further than the Halloween Spirit store.

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For more ranting about horrible Halloween costumes, check out last week’s blog post, which includes the worst of the worst at Target.