The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.


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Everybody Has Pre-Existing Conditions

Yeah, so, I’m so ridiculously angry about the House vote for the American Health Care Act. So angry – like really, really angry.

Fuck these assholes.

It’s so fuckin’ gross I can hardly breathe. They were actually celebrating after they voted to strip away health care from more than 20 million Americans, including children and the elderly. Of course, they were celebrating by drinking Coors Light, so that’s kinda of a punishment if you ask me. Ewww. Coors Light.

As a two-time breast cancer survivor and mother of an autistic son, our health insurance is pretty fuckin’ important. But, according to these fuckin’ jokers, Calvin and I don’t deserve to have affordable health care due to our pre-existing conditions.

EVERYBODY HAS PRE-EXISTING CONDITIONS!

It’s not just big stuff like cancer and autism. Depression and anxiety are pre-existing conditions. Did you have a baby? Well, that’s a pre-existing condition. Victims of sexual assault or domestic violence? Sorry, that’s a pre-existing condition.

Are you planning on having a baby? Well, that will run you about $17,000, because insurance companies won’t have to offer that coverage in their insurance. Oh, and that price doesn’t include diapers, so good luck with that.

If you ever saw a doctor for anything, then you will most likely fall into the pre-existing condition group, so I hope you never got pink eye or broke a bone or got a STD or had to get stitches, but you’ll be fucked. Unless you’re rich, then you’re good to go.

Basically, any reason to charge you more, health insurance companies will get to do it under this bill, which will make health insurance too expensive for a lot of people.

Of course, no one wants to pay more for health insurance, so I’d like to think these dum-dums just voted themselves out of a job when the midterm elections come. I’m going to do everything I can to make sure that happens. Here’s a way to donate to the campaigns of people running against the stupid jackasses who voted for this bullshit bill. Let’s get rid of these “people.” They have got to go.

I seriously hope the Senate rips this bill up. I’m going to try to be optimistic and hope that this bill won’t pass the Senate, but a lot of these politicians also couldn’t get reasonable gun regulations passed after someone went into a school and murdered 20 children, so I don’t have a lot of confidence in their abilities to do the right thing.

Do these morons actually think we will forget that they voted to take away health care from millions of our most vulnerable citizens? Guess what? We won’t. We won’t forget.

Me and my pre-existing condition.

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Dorking Out Episode 42: Our Favorite Sports Movies And Why I Hate Promposals

Yeah, so, in this week’s episode of Dorking Out we share our top 3 favorite sports movies. I tried to make it so all of mine weren’t baseball movies, but I failed, because baseball is THE BEST. I also explain why “The Naked Gun” is one of my favorite sports movies.

In our second segment, we talk about pop culture homework. Do you watch the original movie before seeing a new remake? Do you read the book before seeing the movie?

Oh, and the podcast starts with me going off about how promposals are stupid. Seriously, fuck promposals. You’re not asking someone to marry you. It’s the goddamn prom. And all the boys who keep making promposal videos asking famous actresses to the prom: Just stop it. Stop it! For most of our lives, women compare themselves to celebrities. We’re not pretty enough, skinny enough, etc. It’s so tough to be a teenage girl, and now they have to keep with Emma Stone for a date to the prom. Come on!

So, yeah, promposals are lame. Do the kids still say “lame?”

You can listen to Dorking Out here, or you can find us on iTunes, Stitcher and YouTube. If you listen to the show, I’d love to hear what you think. You can comment here, or on our website or Facebook page.


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Paying It Forward

Yeah, so, I’ve been super ranty on Facebook, because I get pissed goddammit.

I wanted to share that I truly do put my money where my mouth is. For every angry political post I share on FB, I add $5 to my donations to organizations that fight for what’s right. If I feel like I’m spending too much, I can “work it off” by calling or writing my senators and representatives.

So, my next donation will be my usual amount plus an additional $75-$100, because I’ve been very angry the past two weeks. The Women’s March has got me all worked up. I have been making calls this week, and I just printed some postcards to send to my representatives so the amount might go down a little bit.

This only includes Facebook, because if I included my Twitter rants I would have no money for anything else, and a girl’s gotta eat … and drink beer.


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Progress Report: The New Year’s Resolutions Edition

Yeah, so, it’s time for a few random thoughts about my New Year’s resolutions for Friday.

So far, so good with my return to Weight Watchers. Let me share a little thing I discovered this week that’s going to be the key to this diet: Oh Snap! Pickling Co. They sell single-serving bags of pickled veggies. I found them at Target by the lunch meat. They have green beans, carrots and pickles. Strangely, I don’t like pickles, but I love pickled veggies. #weirdo

ohsnappicklingco_dillybites_package

They are the perfect late afternoon snack, and they are zero points. And now I promise I won’t talk about Weight Watchers again until next week.

Also, as I’ve said before, I’m donating a little bit of dough from each paycheck to organizations that fight for what’s right. With this paycheck, I donated again to the ACLU because they have a lot of fight very soon. I’m going to kick some money to Planned Parenthood again, too, because some assholes in Congress want to defund Planned Parenthood, and they think we’re stupid. They think we don’t know that federal money already doesn’t go toward toward abortion services (here’s details about the Hyde Amendment); that the federal money provided to Planned Parenthood goes toward birth control, cancer screenings and other totally-not-abortion health services. This shit really pisses me off, and it’s a key indicator that women can expect to be treated as second-class citizens under this new administration.

Fuck that.

I also set up a small monthly donation to The Humane Society, because they do such great things for animals in need. Also, we got Toby and Kubo from The Silicon Valley Humane Society, and we are so grateful.

haveaseat

Just lay down whenever you want Kubo.

Have you guys been sticking to your New Year’s resolutions, or did you ditch them by Jan. 2? I’d love to hear about it in the comments.


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The Pop Show #23: Game Of Thrones, Ghostbusters, Star Trek and more

Yeah, so, I am the champion the new “Ghostbusters” reboot in this week’s Pop Show podcast for Assignment X.

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I have talked this before, but I got even more worked up this time, because I’m so over the hatred and misogyny directed at this remake. Seriously, grow up, babies! I don’t even know what to say about these sexist assholes who claim to hate a movie they haven’t even seen because they are “just tired of remakes,” but are totally fine with reboot after reboot of superhero movies, and haven’t said jackshit about “The Magnificent Seven” remake. These whiny crybabies, who can’t stand that the new “Ghostbusters” movie isn’t based on their fanfiction, are drowning out the more interesting conversion about the state of remakes and what about the trailers for “Ghostbusters” works and doesn’t work.

Anyway … Don’t trip on my soapbox.

Also, in this podcast:

  • We have a really great discussion about this season of “Game Of Thrones,” including last night’s episode. Serious spoilers if you haven’t watched it yet. Consider yourself warned.
  • I bust out my truly awful Trump impression again, because I’ll do anything to get people to listen to our podcast.
  • We boldly go where we have gone before, and talk about the new “Star Trek Beyond” trailer that dropped last week.

You can listen to the podcast on Assignment X, and you can find us on iTunes riiight here.


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Random thoughts about Facebook

Yeah, so, I’m getting tired of people telling me how to use Facebook.

As far as I’m concerned there’s only one law on Facebook, and that’s Wheaton’s Law: Don’t be a dick.

wheatonslaw

Want to post photos of your kid, dog, cat, monkey all day? Go for it.

Do you like to share depressing stories about wars and/or abused animals? I bet you are super fun at parties.

You like to take quizzes that tell you what character from a ’90s sitcom you are? Knock yourself out.

Those ridiculous Tea Party bullshit articles and graphics with all the incorrect information that you like share? I will totally comment with a link to a Snopes article telling you that those are factually incorrect, but still, have a good time with that!

It’s your Facebook page. Just don’t be a dick.

If I don’t want to see what you are sharing, I won’t look at it. I might even hide you, and then check up on you later. You might hide me, because I post photos of my Spawn all the time, and my selfies are a cry for help. I get it. I take no offense. It’s your Facebook feed. Do with it what you will. Seriously, just don’t be a dick.

Here's my most recent cry for help: A selfie titled "The rare Sonia in a ponytail sighting."

Here’s my most recent cry for help snapped in my cube at work: A selfie titled “The rare Sonia in a ponytail sighting.”

A few friends I’ve talked to recently mentioned that Facebook makes them depressed. “Everyone’s life looks so great, and mine isn’t” is something that someone, who is relatively new to Facebook, said to me.

Facebook is an illusion. It’s not real. Everyone looks great in their photos, because that photo is a selfie with an Instagram filter. And that’s fine. All the advertising/movies/TV shows in the entire world are trying to make us feel ugly. If someone wants to post a photo that makes them feel good about themselves for five minutes, let them have that!

Most of the statuses are funny and happy, because Facebook is a public place, and you want to put your best foot forward. Most of the time people are not sharing the bad stuff going on in their life. No one wants to be a Debbie Downer. As my clever sister Michelle said, “No one posts on Facebook, ‘I have hemorrhoids again – feeling uncomfortable.”

Does Facebook make you feel left out? My friends check in to cool places all the time, because they are cool, fun people. Sometimes I get that pang in my gut like, “They are all hanging out without me.” But then I remember not everyone can be invited to every single thing. Also, baby sitters are expensive. Also, I have a lot of stuff on the DVR that I want to watch. I go to places, and I don’t invite everyone. We’re cool, friends.

I love the website STFU Parents. I think it’s hilarious. It’s filled with parents who overshare and get judgey on Facebook. And while I think the site is funny as hell, I still think, “If they want to share photos of their kids shitting in the tub, well, that’s their business, I guess.” However, I reserve the right to laugh really hard at how assy they are. Still, it’s their Facebook page. However, mommyjacking is dick behavior.

Facebook is strange, new world, and everyone uses it differently. I use Facebook for work, but I mainly use it for fun. It’s a great way for me to have conversations with my friends. I look forward to seeing what they are talking about.

Sometimes my friends are talking about stuff that doesn’t interest me. I’m pretty sure my entire feed was about “Downton Abbey” when it kicked off its new season last month. I could care less about “Downton Abbey.” I used to watch it, but I broke up with it, because they introduced a character that was clearly the Cousin Oliver (or the Scrappy Doo, if you will) and that’s a sign that a show is running out of ideas, and I decided to jump ship now and watch other shows that are not out of ideas (Are you watching “True Detective?” You should be watching “True Detective.”). When everyone was talking about it, I remember thinking, “Ugh. Downton Abbey. Well, they will be onto something else tomorrow” and turning off my computer without comment. No big deal. I didn’t post a status saying, “UGH! I don’t care about Downton Abbey. Stop talking about it, you guys!” But if you want to post a status like that, then you should. However, I personally think it breaks Wheaton’s Law.

Oh, and here’s something else: Facebook is free! It’s free, you guys. Let’s keep the complaining about it to a minimum, before they start charging us. Facebook is a service that has allowed me to keep in touch with other friends that, let’s be honest, I may have not kept in touch with because life gets busy, and we all lose touch with people.  It allows me to talk to my friends and family every day, and it has provided me with countless hours of entertainment, and IT’S FREE. That’s amazing to me.

Sure, Facebook probably sells my private information to other corporations and that’s the price I pay, but meh. My information isn’t that interesting. Trust me. We can be Facebook friends, and you can see for yourself. And yes, I realize I sound like a commercial for Facebook, and no, this post isn’t sponsored by Facebook. But if they wanted to kick me some money I would LIKE it. Get it? I would LIKE it. Ugh. Sorry for that.

Facebook is such a part of our lives now. It’s everywhere, and connected to everything. And yes, Facebook and its users can be frustrating at times, but honestly I get more frustrated with people who whine on Facebook about how other people use it. And I’m so over all of the articles telling me that it’s OK to post this, but not that, and don’t do that too many times, and you’re a jerk if you do this. It’s all good, you guys. Post whatever ridiculous stuff you want on Facebook, but remember other people can see it, and don’t be a dick.

From DontBeADickDay.com

From DontBeADickDay.com


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No talking!

Yeah, so, mighty, mighty good man David and I went to see “The Avengers” last night at the Metreon in San Francisco.

We convinced good buddy Kate to babysit for us and headed out to the movie theater. We were pretty excited because we don’t get to go to the movies that often anymore, because we have a baby, and babies are not usually content to sit quietly in a movie theater for two hours.

Remember that statement.

So anyway, about 20 minutes into the movie (or about 40 minutes after the start time, because there are something like 12 previews before the movie actually starts), a couple of kids wander into the theater and sit in the second row. They’re maybe 10 years old. A few minutes later, what appears to be their parents with a baby girl (maybe 1½ or 2 years old) come into the theater and sit down a few seats down from us.

What happened after that I just couldn’t fathom.

The kids got up from their seats, walked over and started talking to their parents … during the movie! Not whispering. Talking. They talked to their folks, then went back to their seat. THEN, the mom’s phone starts ringing. She whips it out, reads a text and starts laughing, showing the text to her husband, and he laughs. She texts back. At this point, I shoot them the “Why don’t you shut the fuck up” look. It doesn’t work.

They keep talking. The baby starts talking. The phone is out again. THEN, they started taking pictures.

Seriously.

I said, “Seriously,” out loud and shot them another look.

It was quiet for a few minutes. Then Hulk showed up on screen and started smashing things, and the baby started crying.

That poor baby. It’s 10 p.m. on a Thursday night. I’m sure she would rather be in her bed sleeping than watching a scary green monster yell and smash things. The baby stopped crying, but then the parents started talking again. David shushed them, which kept them quiet for about 10 minutes. Then they packed up and left the theater 30 minutes before the movie was over.

WTF?

This has never happened to me in San Francisco. Never. This happened to me all the time in Concord. I wasn’t afraid to shush someone or get up and narc on them to a theater employee. This was the first time it’s happened to me in San Francisco. I was shocked.

I don’t understand. Why were they there? Did they see “Madagascar 3” and then wander into “The Avengers” after their movie was over? Did they pay for “The Avengers?” Did they pay to talk throughout a movie and leave early? Seems like an expensive family outing for them.

I thought this was something everyone could agree on. Talking and texting during the movies is bad. It’s an asshole move. Can’t we all agree that is a horrible thing to do?

It bums me out that we lined up a babysitter and paid $24 to see a movie and had to deal with that crap. No wonder more and more people are waiting until movies come out on DVD or On Demand. The only person who talks through a movie in our house is me, and David shuts me up by handing me a beer or a bowl of ice cream.

I used to work at Cinemark back in the ’90s, and they had a policy trailer to tell people to buy snacks and not talk during the movie.

Don’t be like Clyde, you guys.


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The Taxman can suck it

Yeah, so, we have to pay taxes this year — and not just a little bit of taxes, but a sizable amount.

I thought the Spawn was supposed to be a tax deduction. You mean I’m going through this whole motherhood thing for nothing? Damn it. Oh well, I’m sure we can raise the tax money by selling The Boy on eBay. He’s pretty cute.

I’m really pissed about the amount we have to pay because we’re not rich. We need that money. We had plans for that money. We wanted to spend that money on something like a more fuel-efficient car or a vacation or — oh, I don’t know — groceries. We were going to pump that money back into the economy like good Americans.

I know the government isn’t going to spend our money on anything worthwhile. They are going to piss it away. The government is probably going to take our money, go to Vegas and bet it all on red at the roulette table; or maybe the government will just buy a bunch of Mega-Million lottery tickets.

Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that the government used our money to buy magic beans.

I know that taxes are part of the deal of living in this country. I get it. It’s just a crap feeling when you know that billionaires and huge corporations that make billions of dollars don’t pay anything (yet corporations are people, according to the Supreme Court, right?). Meanwhile, we have to drain our meager savings to pay. It makes me want to stomp my feet and cry, “No fair!”

So anyway, I’m pretending that our tax dollars are going to federally funded abortions. It’s the only thing that makes me feel better.

Oh, and happy Easter. You’re welcome.


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Daddy, oh

Yeah, so, one of the things I hate about being a mom is the bad rep that dads seem to get.

I don’t know how many articles I’ve read that assume the dad is a clueless dope when it comes to his baby. Almost everything we read about babies or products we buy for the Spawn is marketed towards moms. Every box has a happy baby and a smiling mom. Where the hell is dad? There is an assumption that dads don’t care or not involved. Everything looks like this:

There’s a group on Amazon that you can join for special deals on baby stuff. The group is called Amazon Moms. I know, right? Why not call it Amazon Parents? David joined anyway. David is an Amazon Mom. Hot!

This week, we ordered a jumperoo for the boy. (A jumperoo is a contraption that allows the Spawn to stand up, bounce and play with toys at the same time. Multitasking: You’ve got to teach them early.) Since I’m a complete jackass that cannot be trusted to follow instructions, David put it together. I would probably just end up with leftover parts and using duct tape to hold it together, turning it into a death trap. So, mighty, mighty good dad David spends his evening assembling this thing for his son, and what does it say on the side of the box?

Better for moms? Yeah. Fuck you, dads. This is better for moms!

Seriously, would it take too much effort to say “better for parents,” Fisher Price?

OK, sure, I get it. Back in the day, moms were the primary caregiver. They stayed home while dad went to work. But now, I hardly know any moms that are stay-at-home moms, and dads are just as involved in taking care of their babies as the mom. I think it’s time for all these baby products and parenting articles to reflect that fact.


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Can you hear me now, Verizon Wireless?

Yeah, so, I’m not much of a bargain hunter.

I get this from my dad. The Man sees things he wants, and he buys it. “I’m here. I want this. I’m buying it. I’m not going to bargain hunt. My time is valuable.”

Mighty, mighty good man David is the opposite. He is a master bargain hunter and researcher. It’s one of the many, many things I love about him, and it’s why I need him in my life, especially when I’m thinking about buying things such as laptops and cell phones.

Just like The Man, I will see things I want and I’ll just buy it; however, I unlike The Man I can be talked into buying things I don’t need when it comes to electronics, gadgets, etc.

This is purely an electronics/gadgets thing. I don’t go clothes shopping and get talked into buying accessories I don’t need. But when I look at laptops, I can be talked into buying a computer that is way more computer than I need. I’ll leave the store with laptop bags, lifetime warranties and some shit the salesperson just made up to skim some extra cash for himself.

I have been eligible for a phone upgrade for about a month, and while there is nothing wrong with my current phone (which is one of the first Droids to hit the market) I wouldn’t object to a new phone with a better camera, especially with the Spawn on the way. I want crystal clear pictures of Spawn’s shitty diapers to show my friends while they are trying to eat. What can I say? I like to share.

A few weeks ago I received an email saying I could get a total of about $80 off a new phone if I upgrade and signed a new contract. So, David and I went to Verizon to check out the options.

Immediately, a salesperson convinces me that I need a 4G phone, which is more than $100 or so more than the 3G phones that are perfectly fine.

Also, that $80 discount in the email? Yeah, they don’t honor that in the store. It’s an online only thing.

David: “So why should we buy in the store then?”
Salesperson: “Umm.”
David: “OK, come on, Sonia.”
Me [in a robotic voice]: “Must. Get. 4G phone. Life. Empty. Without it.”

David then lured me out of the store with promises of a soft-serve ice cream.

Me [eating my soft-serve ice cream]: “I need a 4G phone. It’s so fast. I can watch movies on it.”
David: “Are you really going to watch a movie on your phone?”
Me: “No, but I could if I wanted to.”

After we got home, David encouraged me to do some research on the phones. After reading several of the sites that he recommended to me and doing comparisons, I learned that, in fact, I don’t need a 4G phone.

I don’t do a lot of crazy things with my phone. I use it as a phone (cute, right?). I text. I Facebook and tweet. I check my email. I take photos. I read celebrity gossip sites while chillin’ in the waiting rooms at Kaiser or when I’m waiting for my always late friends in restaurants or bars. Sometimes I listen to music on it, but not often.

I don’t play games on my phone. In fact, I have never played a game on my phone. I don’t stream movies or TV shows. I don’t really need a phone to control my robot army or launch a satellite … yet.

Also, the battery life on those 4G phones is about an hour or something. I think I would be in a constant state of anxiety, worrying about the battery life of my phone. I don’t need a phone to give me panic attacks. That’s what the Spawn is for.

So, I settled on the perfect phone for me and went to Verizon’s website to order it.

Remember that $80 discount email? Apparently, $50 of that expired, even though there’s no expiration date in the email. WTF?

I start an online chat with one of their representatives, who was about as helpful as the salesperson in the Verizon store, meaning they were completely fuckin’ useless.

Well played, Verizon. My discounted upgrade isn’t really a discounted upgrade. Oh, except you forgot one thing: My contract is up with you in a few months. Maybe I will just move on to another carrier if you don’t satisfy my needs.

Corporation whisperer David shot off an email to Verizon letting them know how unhappy we are, and now I’m getting calls and emails from Verizon trying to make it right.

Will they give me what I want or do I have to break up with them? Stay tuned.