The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.


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There’s no crying in yoga

Yeah, so, I made a New Year’s resolution to be healthier in 2018 … just like a majority of human beings (and some animals – probably).

I’ve been eating healthier, and preparing whole food, plant-based meals using the Forks Over Knives meal planner. I even joined the gym down the street from me. It’s walking distance from my house, so I can walk to the gym so I can walk on the treadmill and listen to podcasts. I know what you are thinking: “Why don’t you just walk around your neighborhood, dummy?” Because. That’s why! Also, I feel safer in the gym, where I don’t have to worry about someone mugging me or hitting me with their car.

AND, the gym has yoga classes! I started going back to yoga, which always makes me happy. I’m so out of practice, so I’ve been easing my way back into it.

I started with a restorative yoga class which is very mellow. You know, it’s one of those classes in which the instructor says, “You’re going to need three bolsters, four blankets and two blocks.” And you think, “YAAAAAS!” Then you spend 90 minutes trying not to fall asleep in some crazy yoga pose. I love that class.

I also started another class on Monday nights that is a little more vinyasa flowy – it’s more challenging but not too challenging. I can kinda keep up.

But this is a story about the Saturday morning class …

It’s a class for students with an existing practice, which I have … sort of. I mean, I used to be good at yoga. I’m rusty and out of shape, but I never walk into a new class at think, “Oh, I’ll be able to do all the things.” I’ll just do what I can and hopefully, I’ll get stronger and better.

So, I walked into the class on Saturday, and I spoke with the teacher. I gave her some background. Breast cancer, mastectomy,  chemotherapy and breast reconstruction surgery – all things that make me struggle sometimes in a yoga class. I can’t do any amazing backbends, stuff like that. Maybe someday, but not yet. I told her I’m out of practice, but I really want to get back to it.

“You might find this class challenging, but just do what you can,” she kindly told me.

She was right. About 20 minutes into the class, and I was already struggling. I had to take child’s pose a few times. It felt really hot in the class.

“It’s really hot in here. Oh god! I hope I don’t pass out,” I thought.

And then that was it. I started panicking that I was going to pass out. Then I started beating myself up. I’m so out of shape. I used to be good at yoga, and now I suck at it. I’m embarrassing myself in this class. I was fighting my urge to just roll up my mat and run out of the class.

I worked myself up, so when the nice instructor came by to modify me in a pose I started crying. CRYING! Bawling, really. Tears. The works.

“Oh no! What’s wrong?” she asked.

“I’m so embarrassed. You are right. This class is too challenging for me,” I sobbed. “I used to be good at yoga. And now I’m so terrible at it. Oh god! I’m so embarrassed. I’m so embarrassed.”

The instructor was so kind to me.

“You are the best student in this class,” she told me. “You are working so hard, internally and externally. Yoga isn’t easy. No one is good at yoga. You just do what you can, and that’s all you can do, and I will support you.”

I wiped my tears, and I said, “I’ll keep trying.”

I stayed on my mat and finished the class. It was hard: physically and emotionally. When the class was over, the instructor came to my mat, and instantly I started crying again.

“Thank you for helping me,” I cried. “I’m really embarrassed. I guess I have some work to do on my body and my mind.”

We chatted for a bit about how yoga is exactly what I need. It’s going to help me.

“You’re not the only one who was in child’s pose today,” she told me. “And you’re not the only one who cried during a yoga class. It happens all the time.”

“I know this class was really hard for me, and maybe I’m not at this level, but if it’s OK with you, I’d really like to come back next Saturday and try again,” I said.

“I would be so disappointed if you didn’t,” she replied. “This is the class for you. It’s what you need.” And then she asked if she could hug me.

And even though I barely made it through, and even though I embarrassed myself by crying, I left the class feeling like I’m going to get better. I was proud of myself for not running away. I was proud of myself for just saying how I felt, even though it might sound stupid.

I felt so motivated that after class I went home and bought a new yoga mat, yoga mat tote and yoga pants. Any reason to shop, I guess.

I told my mighty, mighty good man David what happened.

“I think I’m just too hard on myself,” I said.

“Breaking news: Sonia is too hard on herself,” he said. “Way to point out the obvious.”

So, yeah, I’m really mean to myself. What’s up with that? I’m nice to other people, but I’m a real asshole to myself. I guess that’s something I should work on in 2018, too.

 

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Six things I’m loving right now: Fenty lipstick, ’80s All Over and more

Yeah, so, here we go … Six things I’m loving right now.

Fenty Beauty Lipstick in Censorship

I’m always on the hunt for the perfect red lipstick. No too orange. Not too blue. Not to harsh. A nice matte. Long lasting, but doesn’t dry out my lips. Luckily, I know some smart ladies. My friend Jess recommended Fenty Beauty Lipstick in Censorship on Instagram, and I knew instantly I had to have it. I love it. It’s a little pricey at $24, but if it stops me from buying three shitty reds from Target then it’s worth it.

Forks Over Knives Meal Planner

I wanted to try something that would encourage me to cook more, because I’m really happy when I’m cooking. I also wanted to cook healthy, vegan meals. So, I finally canceled my Weight Watchers, which I wasn’t using anyway, because I’m an idiot, and used that money to sign up for the Forks Over Knives Meal Planner. I’m super into it.

It sets a weekly menu for me, which I can adjust and swap out with different dishes (including dessert!) if I’m in the mood for something else. It makes a shopping list for you. I always print mine out and then go through my pantry and refrigerator and cross off the ingredients I don’t need. Then, it breaks down what you can prepare in advance in a Weekend Prep section. This makes every meal 30 minutes or less during the week.

Curry sweet potato soup

Spicy Indian Chili

You guys! It’s so awesome. Some of the dishes are better than others, but I’m so happy to try out new dishes and experiment.

’80s All Over Podcast

I love listening to this podcast while I’m dickin’ around in the kitchen. Scott Weinberg and Drew McWeeny are reviewing every major movie of the ’80s, month by month. And by every movie, I mean, EVERY movie. It’s rad! As a child of the ’80s, who was obsessed with movies, I love revisiting the titles, even if some of them are not very good.

The Orville

We are big “Star Trek” fans in the MansTracy household, so imagine our surprise when “The Orville” became our new favorite “Star Trek” show instead of “Star Trek: Discovery.”

My mighty, mighty good man David bailed on “Discovery” after two or three episodes. I’ve been slowly watching it. I think I’m four or five episodes behind. I’m not loving it like I thought I would. It’s so concerned with being dark and “Prestige TV” that it forgot to include any kind of fun. There’s no wonder. There’s no exploring. It’s just political intrigue, backstabbing and brooding.

“The Orville” is fun, but it still deals with social and emotional issues like the original “Star Trek.” It feels like “Star Trek,” and there are a lot of people from “Star Trek” working behind the scenes – producing, directing, etc. I’m not a fan of Seth MacFarlane’s other shows AT ALL. But we really like “The Orville.”

The Women’s March

The sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot known as our president, and the awful enablers we call the GOP really piss me off. Most of the time, I’m angry, but occasionally I feel bummed out. It’s depressing that our leaders are so awful.

The Women’s March gives me hope. All of these people, all over the world, are pissed off, too. The march makes me feel less alone in my frustration. I think it’s awesome, but it would be rad if we didn’t need to march next year.

Best buddy Kate and I are the Women’s March in SF in January 2018.

Representin’ the dorks.

This Video

Come on! That face.


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Staying pawsitive

Yeah, so, if you spend a lot of time on social media it’s easy to think that everyone is awful. Here’s a story about some good people.

Remember our Stray Cat Friend?

This little cutie had been coming around our house for months. We would put food out for her, and she would eat and then lounge around the house on the porch or the patio in the sun. She would disappear in the evenings. Sometimes we wouldn’t see her weeks, but she would always come back. Sometimes she didn’t look so good when she returned. She would be limping or looking really skinny and dirty. My mighty, mighty good man David tried to catch her once, but even while injured she was super fast. It took us weeks to earn her trust back.

Eventually, we just settled into a routine. She would come to the porch and wait for David to notice her and feed her. Then she would sleep in the sun, and around the hood at night. It went on for months.

Last summer, we took a family vacation to Santa Cruz. We were gone for a few days, so our Stray Cat Friend wasn’t getting fed. She was hanging around our house and strolling around the neighborhood, and the neighborhood noticed.

Someone posted this on NextDoor.

She didn’t look so good.

This NextDoor thread is filled with neighbors tracking the cat and trying to catch her. Finally, someone mentioned that they were pretty sure that we were feeding this stray cat.

When we returned from vacation, a neighbor came to see us. She wanted to put some food out for our SCF and try to catch her.

“How do you know about her?” we asked.

“From NextDoor,” she told us. “Haven’t you read it?”

We told her we had been on vacation, but when we checked the app there were SO MANY comments and offers of help.

Another neighbor, Adrienne, came over with a trap. David and her exchanged numbers and they were in constant contact about the whereabouts of our SCF. But, before we could catch her at our place, another neighbor was able to catch her.

Adrienne immediately picked her up and took her to a vet. A bunch of people in the NextDoor thread offered to chip in for her medical bills. Actually, they didn’t just offer, they really did pay her medical bills.

The prognosis wasn’t good. She had a mouth full of infected teeth. Her two front legs had been injured and healed improperly, so she would never walk normally again. One of those front paws has claws that won’t retract, so she’s like Wolverine in permanent fight mode. On top of that, she had a bone infection. The vet said they could pump her full of meds, but the vet recommended putting her down.

Adrienne decided to get a second opinion, because she’s smart and awesome. The second vet encouraged us not to give up on her yet, and give the meds some time to do their work.

In the meantime, people in the thread were asking for constant updates. With everything going on in this country, with our embarrassingly moronic president and disgusting GOP-led congress, everyone in our neighborhood needed this. They actually said in the thread, “We need this! We need this cat to be OK.” We needed this cat, which Adrienne named Sierra, to get better.

Sierra moved from the hospital to a foster home to another foster home. Eventually, she ended up staying with Adrienne, as everyone in the thread tried to figure out where Sierra would call her forever home.

Everyone offered to fund her stay at a feral cat sanctuary and different animal rescue organizations, but with all her medical requirements, Sierra really needed a home.

We seriously debated taking her in, but the truth is she would never be happy here. She required a quiet space where she could be alone, and we have neither of those things. Eventually, someone in the thread said she would be happy to take her in.

So, before she moved to her forever home, David and I stopped by Adrienne’s place for a visit.

Sierra was in the back of her large crate with big eyes. Adrienne told us that Sierra was still anxious, and she never saw her sleep or relax. But, as David started talking to Sierra, she started to relax and close her eyes! Adrienne couldn’t believe it. “She NEVER closes her eyes!”

Sierra spent so much time hanging around outside our house, it’s no wonder that the sound of David’s voice is so comforting to her. I know I find David’s voice very comforting, too.

We hear that Sierra is settling in at her new home. She’s got a healthy appetite. She has even let people pet her a little bit, and she’ll purr. That’s a big step for a feral cat. The new owner has asked for a recording of David’s voice. Ha ha! I’ve been suggesting that we record him reading “Goodnight Moon.” She can play it every night for Sierra.

The new owner has shared some cute photos of Sierra.

I cannot overstate how much all our amazing neighbors in that NextDoor thread did for Sierra. They chipped in hundreds of dollars for her medical bills. They donated food, blankets, towels and crates. So many of our neighbors pulled together to avoid a cat-tastrophe (wah-wah). I cannot thank Adrienne enough for everything she did. She was Sierra’s guardian angel, and she always kept us updated about everything.

When I get updates about Sierra, I’ll make sure to pass them along. I know that if you’ve read to the end of this post, you are now invested in her well being, too. And if you want to help some animals out, I recommend donating to SF SPCA, Humane Society or Muttville Senior Dog Rescue.


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Buh bye, 2017

Yeah, so, this year hasn’t been awesome.

We have a sexual predator in the White House, and – with the help of an enabling GOP – he is attacking this country’s most vulnerable citizens, including the sick, elderly, disabled and immigrants. It’s disgusting and depressing as fuck. It fills me with rage.

I have donated money to organizations and candidates who are helping people and fighting for what’s right. I’ve been calling my reps, and occasionally reps in other districts since their votes affect me. I do what I can handle, and it makes me feel a little less helpless.

BUT, I wanted to focus on some good things that happened this year in the MansTracy household.

My mighty, mighty good boy Calvin started kindergarten, and he is flourishing. He’s so happy, and he’s learning so much. His language skills have improved by leaps and bounds.

I got a new job … kinda. The big corporate overload moved me from the Oakland office where I was the lone content person from the past 8 years to the San Francisco office to join the content team. And instead of just working on content for one brand, I will be working on the content with the team on all the brands. I’m really excited and nervous. Writing is in my comfort zone. Thinking big picture is outside my comfort zone. But, I’m down to expand my skillset. Plus, I super love being in the SF office. Not only has it cut my commute in half (and I’m taking BART instead of driving), but I absolutely adore my content coworkers. They are fuckin’ rad as hell.

I got on an airplane all by myself for the first time ever. True story. I met up with my mighty, mighty good man David in Portland after his work trip. We had a great time exploring the city, which is swimming in vegan options for me and beer for both of us. Plus, we got to see our friends Caitlin and Kirk, which made the trip even more awesome.

I got to go to Washington, DC to see my good buddy Katie and her husband Nathan. I finally got to see their house, and we spent some awesome time together walking around the Newseum, going to a Nationals game and sitting on the couch watching YouTube videos, because that’s how we roll.

We went to Santa Cruz again this year for our little family vacation, and we had an amazing time. Calvin has been asking to go back pretty much every day since we got back.

I started baking bread this year. I have always wanted to bake my own bread, but I thought it was too difficult and too time consuming. I found a perfect bread baking book: “Bread Illustrated” from America’s Test Kitchen.

My sister Michelle and my sister from another mister, Amanda, did a spa day at the Sonoma Mission Inn. We got massages and lounged by the pool with drinks. It was heaven.

I went to Bourbon & Branch for David’s birthday, and I discovered that I like gin. That’s a good thing.

 

 

My 15-year-old (!) niece Lorelei came out for the weekend, and we saw “IT” at the Alamo Drafthouse. Lorelei is a Tiny Sonia, so I knew she would love the Alamo Drafthouse. We had so much fun hanging out together. I was scared to see “IT.” I thought it was really fuck me up, but it turns out that I loved being scared about something other than the news.

After our weekend together, I went on a scary movie watching spree. It turns out I love horror movies! Funny enough, I’ve been listening to F This Movie for years, and the host Patrick Bromley is always taking about horror movies. Now I have the courage to actually watch all those movies he’s talking about.

Speaking of podcasts, Dorking Out with Chris & Sonia is still going strong. We recorded a podcast every week, except for one week. Even dorks need a week off once in a while. Super-big, mad props to my co-host Smith for keeping us on schedule, and all the work he does recording the podcast. Oh, and we got this amazing new logo by Jeff Heerman.

I’ll end this post with what everyone wants to see: Dog and cat cuddling action!

Happy New Year, you guys! Let’s hope that 2018 is chrome and shiny.


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Dorking out about Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Yeah, so, we went on and on about “Star Wars: The Last Jedi” on Dorking Out with Chris & Sonia.

In episode 79, we review “The Last Jedi” with Raymond Scott Daigle, who used to work for Lucasfilm. I really loved the movie, even though I thought it was a little too long. I sing the praises of Mark Hamill, and mourn the loss of Carrie Fisher. Also, I think the Porgs are adorable, and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise.

In episode 80, Scott sticks around for a State Of The Star Wars Galaxy discussion, in which we chat about all the upcoming “Star Wars” projects, including the Han Solo movie and “Star Wars: Episode 9.” Plus, Scott tries to convince us to watch “The Clone Wars” and “Star Wars Rebels.”

In episode 81, we talk about “Star Wars” stories we’d like to see. A Star Wars horror movie? A Star Wars romantic comedy? Why not? The podcast goes off the rails because, ummm, someone didn’t do their homework.

And finally, if you’re sick of “Star Wars” (whaaaaaaat?!), you might enjoy episode 82, our podcast in which we share some underappreciated family movies. It was a perfect opportunity for me to talk about “A Town Called Panic.”


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Dinner party panic attack

Yeah, so, I had another panic attack.

Once again, nausea was the trigger. Nausea reminds me of chemo, which reminds me of cancer. Fuckin’ chemo. Fuck you, cancer. Cancer/chemo PTSD is a real thing, you guys. Here’s what happened …

Friday I was going to a chick dinner at my friend DH’s house. Once a year, my friend DH invites a bunch of her lady friends over for dinner. I look forward to it. It’s really fun to chat with a group of smart, funny, interesting women. It’s really fun. I baked bread and everything. See?

I’m practically a professional baker now, you guys.

So, yeah, I was planning on drinking several glasses of wine at DH’s place, so I took a Lyft. But, when I got into the Lyft, it was 100 degrees. He had the heater cranked all the way up. I’m going through menopause hot-blooded and sweaty all the time, so the heater is not really my friend. I immediately took off my scarf and coat.

“Can you turn off the heat? And can I roll down the window?” I asked, because I’m polite AF.

It wasn’t too long into the ride that I started to feel nauseous. I don’t know why I started feeling sick. Maybe from the heat? Maybe I just wasn’t feeling well? Either way, it wasn’t good. I started to panic.

“Oh my god! I’m going to throw up in this car. I feel nervous. I’m going to have a panic attack. I’m going to throw up in this car and faint, and then the driver is going to rape me and ditch me in Glen Park Canyon.”

Of course, my mind immediately goes to the sunken place, which means my driver isn’t a nice man, but a horrible man who will rape and kill me. (Spoiler alert: He was neither of those things, as far as I know.)

In the car, I just kept repeating to myself, “Keep it together. Keep it together.”

Thankfully, I didn’t throw up in the car, but even if I did I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be the first person to throw up in a Lyft.

When I got to DH’s house, I was in full panic mode. I walked in, and it was pretty obvious that I wasn’t OK. I explained that I was feeling nauseous and having a panic attack, and I needed some time to settle down.

“You’re in a safe place here,” DH reassured me. “Have some wine.”

I had some wine. It was delicious, but it didn’t help. The anxiety was so awful, and the nausea wasn’t going away. I was so bummed. DH’s house looked so lovely. It’s decorated for the holidays, and she had her nice dishes out on the table. It was really nice.

“Her house looks so nice. I’m going to throw up all over her nice house,” I thought to myself. “I am TOTALLY going to throw up all over her nice house!”

All the ladies were gathered in the living room. It was a small gathering, so it wasn’t overwhelming … if I wasn’t having a panic attack. I just blurted it out, “I’m having a panic attack. I’m really sorry.”

Everyone was so sweet and understanding. I felt so embarrassed. They tried distracting me by talking about Chris Pine, Chris Evans and Chris Pratt:  a conversation that I would have been ALL ABOUT if I wasn’t freaking out.

“Keep it together. Keep it together.”

Eventually, I gave up. The nausea wasn’t going away, which meant the panic attack wasn’t going away. I called my mighty, mighty good man David and started crying.

“I feel nauseous. I’m having a panic attack, and you need to come get me,” I said, crying.

“Oh no! Calvin is wet and naked,” he replied. “Are you sure you don’t want to take a Lyft. It’s faster.”

“The idea of a Lyft makes my anxiety so much worse. You need to get Calvin dressed and come get me. I’m so sorry,” I sobbed.

“Of course! Of course! I love you. I’ll be there as soon as I can,” he said, and even though the nausea didn’t go away, I felt a little better knowing he was coming.

Then I walked into DH’s kitchen where she was prepping some food, and I immediately burst into tears again.

“David is coming to get me. I’m having a really bad panic attack, and I’m so embarrassed,” I bawled. “I feel so stupid.”

DH was totally understanding: “If I had cancer twice and did chemo, I’d probably have some triggers. You’re OK here. You’re safe.”

I sat with the ladies until David arrived. I smiled and did my best to not send out my crazy anxiety vibes. When David arrived, I politely said my goodbyes and headed out. When I got to the car, Calvin was peeing on a bush.

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

“He couldn’t wait,” David laughed.

On the way home, I took an Ativan, which I always have in my bag. I didn’t take it at DH’s house, because I was afraid it would make me fall asleep on her couch.

When we got home, I instantly crawled into bed. Shortly after, the Ativan kicked in, and it was like a knot was untying. My mind and body just relaxed. Good god, I love Ativan. It’s the fuckin’ shit.

I fell asleep, but woke up around 11:30 p.m. David was still playing his new video game, South Park: The Fractured But Whole. I kissed him. “Thank you for coming to get me.”

“Of course. I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

And then I kissed sleeping Calvin and then climbed back into bed.

Ugh, panic attacks.

I feel lucky that it had been more than a year since I had one. They are so awful and frustrating. I can tell myself, logically, “Dude, you’re fine. Calm down. Who fuckin’ cares if you throw up?” If I threw up at DH’s party, it wouldn’t even be the most embarrassing thing I did at a party. I went to Chico State. It wouldn’t even be the sixth most embarrassing thing I did at a party. I used to get drunk, dance and sing “Cool Rider” from “Grease 2” at parties.

But, my body and another part of my mind doesn’t like logic. It’s just thinking, “We’re totally going to die!”

Panic attacks are the fuckin’ worst.

 

 


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Dorking Out about ‘Coco,’ ‘Three Billboards’ and Sam Rockwell

Yeah, so, I have two really good episodes of Dorking Out with Chris & Sonia for you.

In episode 74, we review Pixar’s “Coco,” and we’re joined by my mighty, mighty good man David and Juan Uriarte of the Instant Ramen podcast. After we chat about “Coco,” we share some underappreciated animated movies. We’ve got some comments that it’s one of our funniest episodes ever, so you should definitely listen.

In episode 75, Smith and I review “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri,” which turns into a really interesting discussion about all the sexual harassment and sexual abuse news and stories that just go off the rails. In our second segment, BFF of the show,  Peter Brown, associate editor of Assignment X joins us to talk about the new trailer for “Avengers: Infinity War.” Then we end the show with me going on and on about my love of Sam Rockwell. It’s really fun. You should listen to that one, too. If you don’t I’ll kick you in the crotch,

 

 

 


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Dorking Out: Justice League, Lady Bird, Hollywood Remakes and Sexual Harassment

Yeah, so, we’ve got a few really good episodes of Dorking Out with Chris & Sonia.

This week episode, we reviewed “Justice League,” which – surprisingly – I kinda liked. It’s a mess of a movie, but there was enough in it that I enjoyed for me to give it a recommendation.

In our second segment, I go on and on about my love for “Lady Bird.” Seriously, you guys, see “Lady Bird.” I also talk about “Alias Grace” on Netflix, which is really worth watching. It’s only 6 episodes, so do it!

You can listen to it riiight here.

In last week’s episode, we shared some movies we’d like to see rebooted or remade. I don’t have the knee-jerk aversion to remakes that a lot of people have. I think there are plenty of stories that can be retold and updated in a new way. I picked – wait for it – the “Before” franchise: “Before Sunrise,” “Before Sunset” and “Before Midnight.” Now, before you get out your pitchforks, listen to the episode, because I justify my pick with really good casting choices.

Smith and I also talk about all the sexual harassment and sexual abuse allegations in Hollywood. My short answer: Fuck these people. Let’s make room for creative artists who don’t sexual harass and abuse people.

You can listen to that episode riiight here.

We hope you enjoy our dorky podcast. You can listen to us here, or you can find us on iTunes and Stitcher.


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Halloween and the cutest UPS driver

Yeah, so, this was the first year that my mighty, mighty good boy Calvin actually got a little excited about Halloween.

I mean, it wasn’t your typical nonstop talk of costumes and candy. BUT, for the first time, he put on a costume, understood it was a costume and actually liked it. In previous years, we dressed up Calvin in shit we wanted him to wear, because he didn’t care. And the “costume” had to practically not be a costume. It just had to a shirt and pants. No crazy hats, no masks, no weird superhero padded suits. So, he was Captain Kirk a few times, and last year he was Batman, because I found some cute Batman footie pajamas at Target.

This year, my mighty, mighty good man David came up with the brilliant idea of really trying to pick something that Calvin would like. Calvin is not into comic book movies or Pokemon, or any lot of the other costumes that kids want to wear. He likes Curious George, Daniel Tiger and the “Toy Story” movies, but he doesn’t want to dress up as those characters. Believe me, we tried.

Here’s what Calvin loves: trains, buses, cars, trucks and ceiling fans. Finally, David settled on getting Calvin a UPS delivery man costume. Calvin knows who that is, and he likes them. I knew he would never carry a package around with him, so I ordered him a little UPS truck to carry around.

On Halloween, I walked him to the school bus. I had the costume and truck in his backpack for the school’s Halloween parade. While we were waiting for the bus, I decided to give it a shot. I took the UPS truck out of his backpack.

“It’s a mail truck! Can I have it?” he asked.

“Of course. AND, I have something else you might like,” I told him. I took the UPS shirt out of his bag and asked him if I could put it on him. “It’s a mail truck driver shirt.”

He put it on, and he started jumping around excitedly.

“I’m a mail truck driver! I’m a mail truck driver!”

He even wore the hat, you guys!

He wore the costume all day. He walked in the school’s Halloween parade. He trick or treated that night.

We trick or treat on Chenery in Glen Park. It’s just a few blocks from our house, and the entire street goes all out. Tons of decorations, eager people on their porches with tons of candy (and wine for the adult trick or treaters like me).

Every adult loved Calvin’s costume, because all adults love to see the UPS delivery person. And, he’s such a polite trick or treater. At every house he said says, “Trick or treat,” and takes one piece of candy. He smells it before he puts in his bucket, because he wants the chocolate. (Sadly, that means no Smarties for me. Dammit!)

“Thank you very much,” he says. Most of the time, because he is so polite, people give him extra candy. Maybe that’s part of his master plan.

Then, after a few blocks of trick or treating, he decided he had enough candy.

“Let’s go look at the fans,” he said. “I’m all done.”

So, we walked over to the businesses on Diamond and checked out a few ceiling fans. Some people offered him candy, assuming he was still trick or treating.

“No, thank you,” he replied. They would look at us so confused. They looked like this.

What kid turns down candy? Our kid. It’s one of the many things that’s so fuckin’ awesome about him.

A few other random Halloween things …

We went to our friend Roger’s birthday party/Halloween party, and we dressed up as the carpet from “The Shining.” It’s probably the scariest costume I’ve ever worn.

But on Halloween proper, I decided to wear this cute Halloween dress I bought on Think Geek for about $25. It’s got black cats and pumpkins on it. I decided to wear a wig, and it turned into a Sonia S. Pumpkins costume.

The UPS driver and Sonia S. Pumpkins. Any questions?

Close up of the wig, glasses and dress (dress from Think Geek).


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That’s a lot of stuff to dork out about

Yeah, so, I accidentally took a little break from blogging. Sorry about that. I was swamped at work all day for a few weeks, and the last thing I want to do is turn on the computer and write when I got home, which really isn’t like me. I like writing.

I’ve got a few stories to share about Halloween and shit like that, which I’ll try to publish before Thanksgiving. In the meantime, I’ve got a few episodes of Dorking Out for you.

Dorking Out Episode 69: We reviewed “Battle Of The Sexes,” starring Emma Stone and Steve Carell. Plus, the ol’ Pop Show podcast gang reunites, including Anthony C. Ferrante, Ryan Mitchelle and Peter Brown, to talk about our favorite scary movies.

Dorking Out Episode 70: We review “Mindhunter” on Netflix, which is really, really good, you guys! I know you’re all watching “Stranger Things,” but when you’re finished with that, you should watch “Mindhunter.”

Dorking Out Episode 71: We review “Thor: Ragnarok” with Peter Brown from Assignment X. Plus, new friend of the pod Albert “AJ” Muller from Daily Grindhouse joins us to talk about “Stranger Things 2.”