Everybody nose

Yeah, so, as I mentioned, this flu has been kicking my ass all week. I’m still coughing, and I’m constantly blowing my nose. I wish I was exaggerating.

David: *waiting to speak*
Me: *blowing nose*
David: *still waiting*
Me: *continues blowing nose*
David: *waiting*
Me: *still blowing nose*
David: *crosses arms, waiting*
Me: *stops for a breath, then keeps blowing nose*
David: “Never mind.”

When I finally finished, he pointed out that I’m blowing my nose for almost comically long amounts of time.

I’m recording an episode of Dorking Out tomorrow, and well, I hope our listeners have virus protection on their listening devices. When I recorded with Margo last week, I was sick and she wasn’t. Shortly after, she caught the same flu. My flu is SO POWERFUL that I was able to infect her all the way in Brooklyn through Skype!

Please don’t let that stop you from listening to the podcast, though, because it’s really entertaining … if I don’t say so myself.

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Does Tosche Station have a Ferris Wheel?

Yeah, so, my mighty, mighty good boy Calvin loves Ferris wheels.

So, for Christmas, we bought him his own Ferris wheel. It’s pretty cool. It spins and lights up. It came with people to ride it, but Calvin has his own ideas who can ride it. And, apparently, I have my own ideas, too.

Buggin’ out

Yeah, so, my mighty, mighty good boy Calvin got an ant farm for his birthday.

He was really into the ant farm for a hot minute, but now it’s my ant farm. I feed them, and I give them water. I move them from room to room so they can be with us. I like to put them by the window so they get a little sun – but not too much sun!

If these ants were in my house I would squish them and spray poison everywhere. This is different. We invited them here. They’re our guests. I want them to be comfortable, and I feel responsible for their safety.

Unfortunately, some of them have died. But, it wasn’t my fault, my friends!

You see, they’re not regular ants – like I can’t go outside and gather up a few and throw them in there. We had to mail away for them, and they’re kinda big. Some of them didn’t make it through the journey, and – well – some of them didn’t transition to their new home very well. So we had to watch our ants carry the dead ants around while they made all their tunnels. It was kinda sad, which is probably why I’m always checking up on them.

So anyway, we have ants now. And no, I haven’t given them names … yet.

That’s cold

Yeah, so, I caught a nasty cold. It’s really knocked me on my ass, and I’ve had to call into sick to work for two days to recover. I hate using my vacation days on a stupid cold, but I’m coughing so much, etc etc. You know the rest … it’s the same stupid fuckin’ cold we all get.

The only good thing about this cold is it gave me the opportunity to watch “Killing Eve” on Hulu, and – my friends! – “Killing Eve” is really great.

OK, there’s one other good thing about laying around on the couch all day. I get to hang out with these guys.

I need this cold to move along, because I’m traveling to Minnesota for work next week, and I don’t want to fly on a plane while sick. I also don’t want to stay in a hotel while sick. Also, I don’t want to be sick. I’m the biggest whiner when I have a cold, which is another reason for me to stay home. No one at work gets paid enough to listen to me bitch and whine about my cold. However, they do get paid enough to listen to me bitch and whine about everything else. I know. I know. I’m a fuckin’ joy to be around, and you wish you worked with me. I get it.

So, I have a theory about how I managed to catch this cold. Here’s actual footage of me after watching “St. Elmo’s Fire” for this week’s Dorking Out.

This episode of Dorking Out is the funniest one yet … if I don’t say so myself. “St. Elmo’s Fire” does not hold up. It’s filled with garbage people doing garbage things. So, if you want to hear two women rip up a movie, then you should definitely listen.

 

 

 

 

To thy own selfie be true

Yeah, so, my mighty, mighty good boy Calvin learned how to take selfies today. I think he nailed it.

California is a real dump

Yeah, so, we did the 17-mile drive from Monterey to Carmel-By-The-Sea. It’s stupid beautiful.

WWJB: What would Jesus buy

Yeah, so, we’ve been walking in and out of the touristy shops in Monterey.

It’s one of Calvin’s favorite things to do. He likes to look for ceiling fans and ask employees why they are or aren’t on. It’s his thing.

All of these touristy areas have the same stuff. It’s all shirts, sweatshirts, magnets, glasses, socks – you know, all branded shit that you buy when you’re traveling only a throw it in a pile a year later and ask yourself, ” Does this spark joy?” Marie Kondo-style.

Yesterday we stopped in a shop that had this:

Forgive me, Father, for I do not understand why this is in a souvenir shop on Monterey’s wharf.

“Excuse me, I’ve been looking at that beautiful ocean view and eating clam chowder all day, and I’m wondering if you sell figurines of Jesus. Not just any figurines: I want a super sad one. Do you have anything like that?”

Let’s go to Monterey

Yeah, so, we’re on holiday in Monterey. I was a bit of a last-minute decision, and we got a great deal on a lovely place, Sanctuary Beach Resort. It’s even Toby friendly!

The main takeaways from the trip so far is Alvarado Street has tasty beer. The dark, nutty Coconut Boogie is my favorite. Also, Toby does love new places , but he’s finally settling in.

Today, we’re FINALLY taking Calvin to the Monterey Bay Aquarium. I haven’t been there since I was 18, so I’m just as excited as he is.

Here’s a photos from our first day. I’m sure I’ll have a ton from the aquarium.

Mommy’s little pinball wizard

Yeah, so, we’re trying to have little adventures around San Francisco that our mighty, mighty good boy Calvin would enjoy during our winter vacation. BUT, we’re also doing a few things that we love like – Oh, I don’t know – hitting up a few breweries, because duh.

So, we checked out Laughing Monk, which moved into a new space right next door to their old space. They have really tasty beer. Our current fave is Winter Bough, which is a Belgian quad. Unfortunately, Laughing Monk doesn’t serve food, but you can order any delivery you want from the food delivery app of your choosing.

Oh, and they have pinball, which Calvin loved playing because he is our son.

His favorite was the Gun ‘N’ Roses pinball.

‪Welcome to the jungle
We’ve got fun and games
If you got the money honey
Insert coins, please

So, yeah. look at me trying to keep my New Year’s resolutions and shit by writing on my blog more often. LOL! It’s only January 2, and I’m bragging about keeping my resolutions.

But yeah, if only I were as awesome about maintaining my other resolutions. I’m not sure it’s possible for me to lose 20 pounds AND not be so truly mean and awful to myself at the same time. I might have to choose one or the other.

Be Nice To Myself vs. Lose 20 Pounds

Damn fine views at Twin Peaks

Yeah, so, we have lived 10 minutes from Twin Peaks in San Francisco for almost 8 years, but for some reason we’d never gone up there. We fixed that today.