The Sonia Show

Writer. Mocker. Beer drinker. Old movie watcher. Mother. Goober.

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Weekend Getaway: Portland

Yeah, so, we went to Portland.

My mighty, mighty good man David had to go to Portland for work, so I flew up on Friday to meet him for a little weekend away. I left Calvin in the car in the parking lot at the airport. Don’t worry, I left the window cracked. I’m not a monster.

I kid. He stayed with my mom and had the best time ever. Grandma is his best friend.

So, yeah, I flew up to Portland, and I’m almost embarrassed to admit this, but it was my first-time ever flying on a plane by myself. Also, I’m 46. I know, I know. It’s pretty ridiculous.

Look, Mom! I’m going to fly on the plane like a big girl.

I downloaded the new “Mystery Science Theater 3000” on my Kindle, and it turns out it was the perfect length for the flight. It ended right as we were landing. I was completely entertained and distracted the entire time.

We had an awesome time in Portland. It’s a great city. There was a ton of tasty beer and everywhere I went there was a variety of vegan options. And not just the “I guess I’ll get the fries and the salad” variety, but full-on vegan options. Even a divey bar would have nachos with a vegan cheese option. Heaven!

Our friend Caitlin showed us around on Friday, and we went to a vegetarian restaurant Harlow, where I discovered jalapeno cashew cheese that I will absolutely be trying to make myself. We also went to Breakside Brewery, where I had a couple of really good IPAs, Rainbows & Unicorns IPA and Lunch Break ISA. I also bought this rad hat, which David is modeling in this photo.

We also had dinner at a vegan restaurant, Blossoming Lotus, because David and Caitlin are nice people. I got the chickpea chana masala curry, because curry is one of my faves, and it was delicious. We ended the night with drinks at Horse Brass Pub with David’s friends Collin and Siri.

On Saturday, we went to Blue Star Donuts. Voodoo Doughnuts is super famous, but we were told repeatedly that Blue Star Donuts is a local favorite. We were not disappointed. David got the creme brulee donut, and I got a vegan blueberry one. Yummers!

After that, we went to 10 Barrel Brewing, and I had the milk stout, which was pretty darn good.

We had evening drinks with our friend Kirk and his girlfriend Emily at the White Owl Social Club, which is such an awesome place we didn’t really want to leave for our dinner reservations. But we’re so glad we did, because we had an amazing dinner at La Moule. As you can tell by the name, mussels are kinda their thing, so I decided to be a bad, BAD vegan for a meal and get the Korean mussels, which had miso, ginger, kimchi, garlic and sesame oil. It was good stuff. Honestly, I could have just eaten a loaf of crusty bread and dripped into the broth.

I can see why so many San Franciscans have moved to Portland. It’s very San Francisco-ish, except cleaner. Maybe that’s because of the rain?

We had such a good time. Big thanks to Caitlin for giving up her Friday to show us around, Collin and Siri for meeting us at Horse Brass, and Kirk and Emily for introducing us to the White Owl. Thanks, you guys!



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Dorking Out Episode 44: Fargo, Toy Box and Avatar

Yeah, so, in this week’s episode of Dorking Out we review the third season of “Fargo,” which started last week.

The movie “Fargo” is one of my all-time favorite movies, and the TV series is quickly becoming one of my favorites. I adore the first two seasons. I just watched the first episode of season three last night, and I really liked what I saw.

In our second segment, Smith interviews the owners of award-winning board game creators of Blue Matter Games. It’s a really great interview about how to live a creative life.

And finally, we end our show with what we’re dorking out about this week, including the saddest book ever — “Shattered: Inside Hillary Clinton’s Doomed Campaign” — and the announcement of the release dates for four more “Avatar” movies, which kicks off a lengthy argument between us about whether or not “Avatar” is a good movie. (Spoiler alert: It isn’t.) I realize that the movie made a lot of money, but I don’t think it’s as beloved as people think. Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t ever hear anyone talking about it. I hear people talk about “Titanic” more often than “Avatar.” So, yeah, “Avatar” is not my jam.

You can listen to Dorking Out here, or you can find us on iTunes, Stitcher and YouTube. If you listen to the show, I’d love to hear what you think. You can comment here, or on our website or Facebook page.


You Never Get a Second Chance To Make a First Impression

Yeah, so, my mighty, mighty good boy Calvin hasn’t even started elementary school, and already we’re being invited to school functions.

We’ve been invited to welcome potluck in the park later this month. Of course, we’re going to go, because we want to scope it out and meet everyone. All parents need to advocate for their children, but I feel like special needs parents really need to advocate for their children to make sure they are getting everything they need. This means we’re going to have to start participating in things, even though I hate participating in the things.

When I told my mighty, mighty good man David about the potluck, he definitely had a good idea of how we could make an impression.

“Let’s show up dressed up as furries,” he said. “We’re a poly-amorous furry family, and we want to be very active in the school community. VERY ACTIVE.”

I love David so much. SO MUCH.



Yeah, so, my mighty, mighty good man David and I love to watch baseball. We want to go to more games together, and we want to bring our my mighty, mighty good boy Calvin.

He hasn’t been to a baseball game since he was a baby.

Gaaah! Was he ever that small?

A crowded and loud baseball game isn’t necessarily Calvin’s favorite place to be, but we want to try. Unfortunately, San Francisco Giants tickets are kinda expensive. We’re not sure we want to spend $50+ on a ticket for Calvin, if he demands we leave after 10 minutes.

Luckily, we’re a two-team household, so we can go to Oakland A’s games, which are waaaay more affordable.

Just a few days after talking about it with David, I got an email from Easter Seals Bay Area, offering us free tickets to the A’s game. They were hosting a “A Home Run For Autism” event at the game: free tickets, free sodas and free food. We had to buy our own beer, because duh – we’re not going to drink soda at a baseball game.

This turned out to be the perfect opportunity to reintroduce Calvin to baseball. We had an awesome time. He got a giant bag of popcorn, and he was as happy as can be. Plus, there were a lot of airplanes and helicopters flying overhead, and he loved that. He got a little nervous with the giant head mascots showed up, but that had more to do with all the people running over to get photos than with the mascots themselves.

We made it until the ninth inning, and then Calvin was kinda ready to go. Unfortunately, the A’s lost the game, but we still felt like winners because we got spend a beautiful day in the ballpark with our boy. We asked him if he liked going to the baseball game and he said, “Yes. I like spaceball.”

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Return Of The Cat

Yeah, so, our stray cat friend returned last night!

Toby was acting all squirrelly around the front door, and Kubo was sitting the front window and making funny noises, so I checked the porch, and our stray cat friend was there. I had put a towel on the porch a month or so ago, thinking she would like to sleep on it. Apparently, she does want to sleep on it. Just a few days ago, I debated throwing it away. I’m glad I left it out for her.

I put some food and water out for her, and she scooted away from me. My mighty, mighty good man David is right: We’re going to have to earn her trust back.

Her front paw looked better, but she was still limping. This time she was holding up her back leg. Also, she looked really, really skinny. Maybe she just holed up somewhere until she was feeling well enough to come back and get some food. Poor thing.

I’m so glad she came back. We will give it some time, and earn her trust back. Once she starts feeling confident that we’re not going to trap her, we will try to trap her. She seems really smart to me. I’m not sure she will fall for the ol’ food in the trap trick, but maybe I’m wrong.



You Drive Me Crazy

Yeah, so, I was driving to work and thinking about all the things I need to do once I get there.

“I need to send that email. I need to work on the video script. I need to fix our Google Plus page.” You know, a bunch of silly to-do list things.

Right as I was getting on the freeway, I noticed I was listening to the “Cars” soundtrack.

“Why am I listening to this crap?” I thought. “OH SHIT!”

And sitting the back seat was Calvin.

I forgot to drop him off at school! I was completely on autopilot and was driving to work without even thinking.

“I’m not going to school,” he said.

“You’re going to school. I went the wrong way,” I told him.

Every morning I drop Calvin off at preschool and then drive to work. Why today I skipped the preschool I have no idea. I’m so glad I didn’t get all the way to the office with him.

Actual footage of me driving.

Have you ever drive somewhere on autopilot? I’d love to read your stories in the comments.

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Dorking Out Episode 42: The Fate Of The Furious & Mystery Science Theater 3000

Yeah, so, in this week’s episode of Dorking Out we review “The Fate Of The Furious,” because Smith hates me.

I saw the first one in 2001 in the theater with my brother, and the second one in 2003. I haven’t seen them since, and I didn’t see any of the other sequels. I basically walked into this movie completely clueless. Man oh man, I did not like this movie. I know that people love this franchise, but it is not for me. Yes, the movie is dumb, but sometimes dumb is fun. This movie isn’t fun. It’s dumb and mean. I hated it. If you like listening to Ranty Sonia, then this is the episode for you.

In our second segment, we talk the return of “Mystery Science Theater 3000” on Netflix, a show that I find so comforting. I’m so happy it’s back.

You can listen to Dorking Out here, or you can find us on iTunes, Stitcher and YouTube. If you listen to the show, I’d love to hear what you think. You can comment here, or on our website or Facebook page.

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Random Thoughts: ‘Mother,’ The Skimm And More

Yeah, so, I’m feeling random today, so here I go again on my own …

I finally introduced my mighty, mighty good man David to one of my favorite comedies, “Mother,” written and directed by Albert Brooks. Have you seen “Mother?” You should see “Mother.” This movie makes me laugh so hard. Seriously, I giggle throughout this movie. And I don’t mean, I’m watching the movie and I think, “Oh that’s funny.” I mean, I literally laugh out loud over and over. It’s the best. And now, David finally gets it when I say, “It’s fancy jam time.”

So, yeah, last week, I was riding in the car with my sister Michelle and listening to the radio. I don’t listen to the radio that much anymore. I mainly listen to podcasts now, because I’m a super-rad podcaster now. The radio station was playing an ad for itself, “We have the greatest variety from the Backstreet Boys to Phil Collins.”

Umm, that’s not really a variety.

They might as well have said, “We have the great variety of music from Genesis to Phil Collins.”

It made me really glad that I pay the $9.99 for Apple Music.

I think I’ve recommended The Skimm before, but I’m going to do it again, because it’s rad. It delivers an email every morning summarizing all the news I need to know so I don’t sounds like an ignorant asshole. You should sign up, too – not that I think you’re an ignorant asshole. Everyone knows that The Sonia Show readers are the smartest readers in all the land.

OK, so, there’s a banner hanging on a restaurant in Concord, and every time I drive by it makes me want to smash my car into their restaurant.

Not only does it feature a typo, which is awful, it also features random capitalization! It’s a twofer. UGH! I see stuff like this, and I think I’ll always be able to find a job, but then I remember that these folks didn’t hire anyone. The banner has been up for weeks. Has no one told them? Maybe I need to stop by and let them know. Maybe they will give me free Sushi-Thai … whatever that is.

By the way, thank you to everyone who offered advice about our cat friend. She still hasn’t come back, and I’m still worried.

Let’s end this blog post on a cuter note, here’s a video of the cutest, happiest dog in the dog park.


My Boo

Yeah, so, on Friday night, we dropped mighty, mighty good boy Calvin off at the Peek-A-Boo Factory in West Portal for their monthly date night.

Actual footage of David and I after we drop off Calvin at Peek-A-Boo Factory for date night.

Basically, we pay $35, drop Calvin off, and he runs around on their play structure for three hours. They serve pizza that he won’t eat, and they do crafts that he doesn’t really care about. He just wants to go down the long, red slide for three hours.

Anyway, we dropped him off as usual and walked to a nearby restaurant for dinner. After dinner, we went to a bar across the street from Peek-A-Boo to grab a drink. We ran into another set of parents from Calvin’s preschool. They dropped their son off at Peek-A-Boo as well, and they were a little nervous because they had never done it before.

“Calvin loves it,” we told them. “It’s awesome.”

We chatted for a bit, and then they left because they wanted to pick their son up a little early, since it was his first time. I laughed and said, “Well, we’re going to wait until the very last second to pick up Calvin.”

And right then, mighty, mighty good man David noticed that Peek-A-Boo had called. Calvin was crying and upset, and they didn’t know why. D’oh!

We went across the street, and we could see him through the locked glass doors. He was crying. When they let us in, he ran into my arms sobbing. One of the employees, who always gives Calvin special attention at these date nights, had no idea what was wrong.

“He’s always so happy,” she told us.

While we were heading home, Calvin said, “I got locked in the trailer,” which is something that happened at my parents’ house the week before. My dad has a trailer on the side of the house, and Calvin was playing in it, and he accidentally locked himself in it for about a minute.

I thought maybe he got locked in the restroom at Peek-A-Boo, and this is his way of telling us.

“Did you get locked in the bathroom at the red slide, Calvin,” I asked. “Red slide” is what he calls Peek-A-Boo Factory.

“No,” he replied. “I got locked in the trailer at Grandma’s.”

“I know,” I said. “That’s scary.”

“There’s a ghost in the trailer,” he said.


“There’s a ghost in the trailer?” I repeated.



I texted my mom. “Your trailer is haunted. FYI.”

My dad loves to kill things, so I’m not sure how he will deal with something that is already dead living in his trailer, but I’m sure he’ll figure it out.

It turned out that Calvin wasn’t feeling very well. He had a fever by the time we got home, and he was off and on feverish all day Saturday. Poor little guy.


Dorking Out Episode 42: Our Favorite Sports Movies And Why I Hate Promposals

Yeah, so, in this week’s episode of Dorking Out we share our top 3 favorite sports movies. I tried to make it so all of mine weren’t baseball movies, but I failed, because baseball is THE BEST. I also explain why “The Naked Gun” is one of my favorite sports movies.

In our second segment, we talk about pop culture homework. Do you watch the original movie before seeing a new remake? Do you read the book before seeing the movie?

Oh, and the podcast starts with me going off about how promposals are stupid. Seriously, fuck promposals. You’re not asking someone to marry you. It’s the goddamn prom. And all the boys who keep making promposal videos asking famous actresses to the prom: Just stop it. Stop it! For most of our lives, women compare themselves to celebrities. We’re not pretty enough, skinny enough, etc. It’s so tough to be a teenage girl, and now they have to keep with Emma Stone for a date to the prom. Come on!

So, yeah, promposals are lame. Do the kids still say “lame?”

You can listen to Dorking Out here, or you can find us on iTunes, Stitcher and YouTube. If you listen to the show, I’d love to hear what you think. You can comment here, or on our website or Facebook page.