Yeah, so, it’s Sunday morning. I’m sipping my pumpkin spice-flavored coffee because I’m the most basic of bitches. I’m on my couch, under a blanket, because it’s August in San Francisco. And I’m doing that thing that all writers do – I’m staring at a blank screen.
I want to write. But what do I want to write?
I saw “Oppenheimer” yesterday. Do I want to write a review?
When it was over, I wrote in my notebook (yes, of course, I carry a notebook in my purse), “I feel like I just watched a three-hour trailer for Oppenheimer.” And then I had an overwhelming need to watch 1991’s “JFK,” another messy movie about serious things.
Nah. I don’t want to write a review.
Maybe I should write about my feeeeeeelings. I always have so many feelings.
We did a Brene Brown-style values exercise at work the other day. I’ve done these before in therapy. I’ve got a core four that usually float to the top for me: authenticity, fun, compassion, and curiosity. But this time, I had a surprise visitor. It was courage. “Oh, look at you. When did you get here? Are you lost?”
I’ve never thought of myself as a courageous person. In fact, I tend to think of myself as a big chicken. But I did make an effort after my second breast cancer diagnosis to be a little braver. To try some things that scare me. This led to podcasting and getting a new job. Hmmm, maybe I am a little courageous.
But, in this context, I was thinking about how much I value when other people are courageous at work. I’m getting braver when it comes to speaking up for my team – saying no to people is difficult for me because – again – compassion. But sometimes at work, I see bigger things that could be better. I find myself repeatedly asking in my head, “But why?” I don’t have a solution, but there’s a Zoom room full of really smart people who could make this better if someone (or me) was brave enough to say, “I don’t think this is the answer. Can we explore a different way?”
I have some work to do in that area.
Speaking of work, I’m leaving for Ireland next week. The first week is for fun, the second week is for work, which is also fun. Tune into my social media channels for photos of me drinking pint after pint of Guinness.
So, yeah, I liked this. Maybe Sunday mornings are for writing, even if I don’t know what I want to write about.
The Sonia Show 