Advice to 14-year-old me

January 27, 2024 by The Sonia Show 7 Comments

Yeah, so, this is 14-year-old me.

This girl was so afraid of being seen. She was so afraid that if people saw her, they’d make fun of her or be mean to her. She didn’t even want them to call her name during roll call in class because it drew attention to her. She would never ask a teacher a question, even if she didn’t understand, because then everyone would think that she was stupid. She also thought she was fat and ugly, and that is why no one noticed her. But at the same time, she didn’t want anyone to look at her, so wash, rinse, repeat. She was just kinda sad and scared all the time.

But she had an electric typewriter, and she would write these short stories all the time. The main character in those short stories was almost always a girl with red hair and glasses. She was brave. She loved to stand out. She had her own quirky style, and she didn’t care what people thought about her, which made her so cool. She was smart, cute, and funny. She was curious, kind, and outspoken. She always stood up for what was right. She was the person I wanted to be, but I was too afraid.

I haven’t thought about those stories and those characters for years. I was chatting with my coworker Diana, and I shared the photo with her. We were both laughing about how different I look now.

“How did that girl become this girl?” she asked, pointing at me through the Zoom. Diana always asks good questions. She’s a real smartie. And then I remembered the stories I used to write.

“You manifested yourself!” she said.

The hair. The glasses. The colorful clothes. This woman is smart, cute, and funny. She doesn’t care what people think, which just maybe (MAYBE!) makes her cool. She’s definitely outspoken with a strong sense of what’s right. She’s pretty brave. She’s got rad friends. She loves her job. She’s got a cozy home with the coolest kid and the most adorable dogs. She’s kinda killin’ it.

Y’all, 14-year-old me would loooooove 53-year-old me.

I look at that photo of 14-year-old me, and I just want to hug her. I want to tell her that she doesn’t need to be so afraid. Everyone in high school (in the world, to be honest) is just trying to figure it all out. You don’t need to be nice to people who are mean. You don’t need to have all the answers. It’s OK to ask questions. Be curious. Be kind. Be brave – even if it’s for just 2 minutes at a time. Having only a Diet Pepsi at lunch and weighing 120 lbs. isn’t going to make you happy, just hungry. It’s OK to ask for what you need. Having self-worth doesn’t mean you’re stuck up. Be nicer to your sister because she’s going to be your best friend. Talk to your mom, because she wants to help. Call your grandmas more often. Don’t worry about making friends, because you’re going to find your people. Oh, and don’t get that perm. It’s not going to look like that magazine photo.

I don’t blame 14-year-old me for being shy and scared. She was trying to protect herself. She was doing the best she could with what she knew. I’m proud of her for that. And that girl put in the work, and she led me here. I’m super grateful to her.

Thank you, 14-year-old me. You’re the best.