Yeah, so, I love free booze.
Good buddy Kate is the big boss at a wine publication, so she scored free tickets to the Chronicle’s wine competition public tasting on Saturday at Fort Mason. Of course she invited me because everyone knows that I like to drink wine … a lot.
I was really excited to get drunk in the afternoon in a socially acceptable way, as opposed to my usual way. Kate was really excited to learn that the dude from “The Bachelor” was there. He owns a winery or something. I don’t know jack about “The Bachelor.” Everything I know about it is from Kate or the awesomely hilarious recaps by 40 Going on 28.
Kate is a big fan of the show. Everyone in her office watches the show. They even have an office betting pool.
“I have the office pool sheet in my purse,” she told me. “I wonder if he would sign it.”
“Of course he would sign it,” I said. “He’s on TV. He wants people to watch his show.”
We made our way to his table. Kate took out the office pool sheet and asked him if he would sign. She was super polite, very sweet, very “we’re all big fans.” I would have said something like, “Hey Bachelor guy, sign this for me. Thanks. What’s it like to whore out your heart on national TV?” Kate is a good person. I’m not.
He signed the office pool sheet for her, but he was kind of a jerk about it. He was all stone face. I don’t think he even spoke to her. No, “Hey, thanks for watching” or anything. Instead he signed it and immediately turned his back to her. I felt like it was rude as hell.
Seriously, dude, you are on “The Bachelor.” “The Bachelor!” You’re not even on a cool reality show like “Top Chef” or “Project Runway;” a reality show that involves a skill and talent. Although, maybe your talent is making out with psychos on national TV? My point is this: You’re not making art here. You are on a reality dating show. You are pretending that you are looking for love on TV in the hopes of promoting your winery and getting famous. Don’t act like you are above it all. You know what you signed up for, and you should be a good sport.
Oh, and I’m not going to buy any of your wine. So there.