Yeah, so, the San Francisco Giants won the World Series. NBD.
It was such a stressful game. But, man oh man, Madison Bumgarner is a damn stud. He’s the man, he’s the man, he’s the man. Amazing.
I don’t want brag, but I’m clearly a baseball genius. Where’s my ESPN show?
After the game, mighty, mighty good man David, Calvin and I went out onto our deck and watched all the illegal fireworks. Later, after Calvin went to bed, we listened to all the sirens, because people are the worst.
A more accurate headline would be “Stupid Assholes Ruin Everything.”
Stupid assholes pretending to be SF Giants fans decided that winning the World Series is a great opportunity to destroy MUNI buses, set fires,shoot people, vandalize local businesses and act like stupid assholes. Wheee. Seriously, those people should be so ashamed of themselves. How embarrassing. Instead they are probably uploading photos of them acting like dicks to Facebook and tagging all photos, so their stupid asshole friends can like them. Ugh.
As a San Francisco Giants, I would like to state that real San Francisco Giants fans do not the destroy San Francisco after a victory.
My team, the San Francisco Giants, is playing the Kansas City Royals. The Royals are a perfectly fine team that now must be destroyed. On the surface, the Royals are a tough team to hate. They haven’t won a championship in 29 years. If they were playing the Dodgers or the Cardinals in the World Series, I would probably root for them. But they’re not. They’re playing my team, so … you suck, Royals.
Let’s dig a little deeper and feed our anger, shall we? Kansas City, Missouri is home to the headquarters of Applebee’s. Did you know that? Applebee’s … BOOOOOOO! Also, the 1983 TV movie “The Day After” was filmed in Kansas City. That movie scared the shit out of my younger sister. She didn’t sleep for a week. Screw you, Kansas City! Don’t you just hate Wal-Mart? Sure, we all do. Well, the Royals are owned by the former president and CEO of Wal-Mart, and he’s a terrible person. True story. You can go to hell, Royals!
So, yeah, in 2010, mighty, mighty good man David and I went to the World Series, and it was awesome. In 2012, we watched the games at home, because instead of spending our money on super-cool fun stuff like World Series tickets we decided to have a baby. Wah wah. This year, I’m not 100 percent that we’re not going to go to the World Series. We are casually entertaining the idea, and we will be browsing Stubhub all week while debating it. Our debate will most likely end with us not going because World Series tickets are really expensive, and World Series tickets plus a babysitter are really, really expensive.
I’m fine with that. I just want to watch my team win the World Series. I don’t mind watching it from the comfort of my own home. It’s nice here. I have a perfectly formed groove in the couch after years of watching TV, and we have tasty beer here. I’m going to make ballpark food for dinner all week long: Nachos with super-processed cheese, peanuts, hot dogs and sundaes.
So anyway, stay tuned to my Twitter for all kinds of assy World Series related tweets and my Instagram for all kinds of photos of fancy beer that I will be drinking during the games. Also, I will post photos of me looking like this:
Yeah, so, mighty, mighty good man David is in Amsterdam at a trade show for work (no legal pot or prostitution for him … or so he says), which means it’s just me and The Kid for a week. David has been traveling quite a bit for work recently, and during the week, The Kid and I have a pattern pretty locked down.
In other words, there’s a lot of this …
And this …
That’s what you get for begging, Homer.
The weekends are tougher. We always go on little adventures together, and when David isn’t here, he is sorely missed. Good thing good buddies, Jeff, Jess and Henry let us crash their Saturday outing to the Martinez shoreline.
Buddies with a view.
After our stroll, we had lunch at a taqueria in downtown Martinez. Calvin isn’t super awesome in restaurants. He tends to act a fool, and we scarf our food down and leave. So I was hesitant, and I prepped Jess and Jeff, explaining that we (meaning The Kid and I) might make a hasty exit. Turns out, I was worried for nothing. We sat outside, and Calvin sipped his water, ate chips and pointed out every motorcycle that rode by. Also, why are there so many motorcycles in Martinez?
BONUS: On our way to the restaurant, a crazy man gave Calvin a dollar. The man was very insistent that Calvin take this dollar from him, saying something about how he never sees his kids. Umm, OK then. (FYI: We paid that dollar forward: giving it to a homeless person we walked by along the Embarcadero the next day.)
On Sunday, we parked around AT&T Park on the early side (around 10 a.m.), since there was an afternoon game, and we walked from the ballpark to the Ferry Building. The Giants were playing the Dodgers (the bad guys won, and the Giants lost – ugh!), and there were of a ton of fans walking around early before the game, but we were still able to secure a nice parking spot. We walked along the Embarcadero, which is one of our favorite things to do in The City. (Please take note that I showed incredible restraint here … I almost typed “one of our favorite things to do in Frisco” just to piss people off, but I totally didn’t … but I could have.)
So anyway, it’s a decent walk, especially for an almost 3 year old. It’s 1.2 miles. We look at the bay. We point out the boats and the Muni trains. Once we get to the Ferry Building, we never go into any of the amazing restaurants or shops that are there. Although, sometimes I pick up a few things to go. Instead, we usually end up at the nearby Starbucks, because they have a restroom, and they have ceiling fans, which my kid thinks are the most fascinating thing in the world. We lucked out this time and got to sit in the cushy chairs. We did a “cheers” with our drinks and ate our Starbucks snacks and talked about the ceiling fans.
Ahhh, this is the life.
When we finished our drinks, it was time to go, but Calvin had feelings about leaving. He wasn’t ready. I put into a play a little tip that had been shared with me. I put a visual timer on my phone (the app is actually called Kid Timer). Basically, it’s a stopwatch with colors. So, I set it for 3 minutes, and I said, “When the green is gone, it’s time to go, OK?” I reminded him a few times, and when the time was up, he hopped off the chair and said, “Bye, bye, fans.” It was like magic. Calvin is a sweet kid with an awesome sense of humor, but transitions are tough for him. However, if you give him a heads up about what’s next, he’s more cooperative. I think this timer is going to improve the quality of our lives.
We left the Starbucks, and we didn’t walk too far before I realized that we walked too far. From the ballpark to the Ferry Building and back to the ballpark wasn’t an issue when we had the stroller, but we don’t use the stroller that much anymore, and I certainly hadn’t brought it this time. Calvin was tired, and he wanted to be carried, and we were still really far from the car. Calvin is WAY too heavy to be carried that far. Lucky for me, right by the Ferry Building, all the pedicabs were lined up. One of the riders said, “Need a ride to the game?”
“Nope, but we need a ride to our car, which is right by the ballpark.”
And that’s how Calvin and I ended up taking our first-ever ride in a pedicab. I wish I had taken a photo of Calvin during the ride. I don’t think his smile could have been any bigger. It made me think that I should get a bike with a seat for The Kid, but I’m not sure I would really ride it that much. I love the idea of it, though.
So anyway, Calvin and I made it through the weekend! David gets home Wednesday, and we can’t wait.
Yeah, so, San Francisco has a lot of nicknames: SF, Frisco, San Fran, The City By The Bay. Growing up a mere 33 miles away, I always referred to San Francisco as The City.
“We’re going into The City to see yet another director’s cut of ‘Blade Runner.'”
I don’t know where I picked that nickname up from, but I would guess that my friends probably referred to San Francisco as The City, so I did, too.
I don’t think much about it. A lot of folks that I follow on the social medias have thoughts and feelings about what are the proper nicknames for San Francisco. I don’t get that worked up about it. No matter what you call it, San Francisco is awesome. Plus, I pay a lot of money to live here, so I’ll call it whatever I want. As long we keep paying that San Francisco rent, I can call it “Rick” if I want to.
I started working in The City in 1998, and I moved here 10 years after that. The City changed my life. I wrote a love letter to The City as part of the I Live Here: SF series. I moved here a single girl with wiener dog. And now I’m married with a wiener dog and raising a 3-year-old San Francisco native. I love living in The City.
Photo by local legend Julie Michelle. Taken in the Dogpatch in 2009.
So, yeah, I’m writing about San Francisco nicknames, because the other day I referred to San Francisco as The City, and I’m worried that it made me sound like a jerk, and now I’m thinking I need to reprogram my brain to call San Francisco something else.
We were in Concord at a playground with The Kid. We struck up a conversation with another parent at the playground, and she asked us where The Kid goes to preschool. “Oh, we live in The City. The name of the school is …”
Does referring to San Francisco as The City make it sound like where she lives is not a city?
“I live in The City, not in some town like Concord. Do you even have running water and electricity here?” *accidentally drops my monocle into my martini glass* “Oh my!”
She didn’t seem to think it was rude, and we had a perfectly fine chat. It wasn’t until right before I was falling asleep that night that I realized maybe that wasn’t very nice. I always save my little panic attacks for right before bedtime, because I hate myself.
So, you guys, what do you think: Is it assy to refer to San Francisco as The City when you are in another city?
Yeah, so, every season the San Francisco Giants have “Star Wars Day” at the ballpark.
Obviously, I go to this game. I mean, I kinda have to, right? The main things I’m geeky about are “Star Wars” and the San Francisco Giants. This is my day.
This year was a crazy good giveaway: an R2-D2 beanie. They were giving them out to the first 10,000 fans, and I needed to make sure I was one of the 10,000. So, my mom, because she is the nicest lady in the world, hopped on BART and was at our house a little after 10 a.m., so that mighty, mighty good man David and I could get to the ballpark early.
We were at the ballpark about 90 minutes before the game started, because we are dorks. We weren’t the only dorks, though. There were A LOT of people in line before us. Still, I am happy to report that we got our beanies. David is giving his to our son, because David is a grownup, whereas I’m a selfish dick dork.
R2-D2 beanie achievement unlocked!
David and I didn’t dress up in “Star Wars” costumes; however, we did wear our “Star Wars” T-shirts. We even dressed up The Kid in a “Star Wars” shirt, even though he wasn’t going to the game.
Using The Force to play Endless Alphabet.
We saw a lot of folks in costumes at the ballpark. One of the things that kinda bums me out about “Star Wars” is — for ladies — there’s pretty much only Princess Leia (or Queen Amidala if you are into those lame prequels that I have had Eternal Sunshine-d from my mind.) I was glad to see a few ladies dressed as R2-D2 and some random jedi knights. I hope we get a little more variety in the new “Star Wars” sequels. There must be more than one or two women in a galaxy far, far away.
So anyway, we saw a lot of costumes. I felt particularly bad for the people that dressed up as ewoks or Chewbecca, because — in a San Francisco rarity — it was actually warm that day. Seriously, we left the house without sweatshirts, you guys! We saw a few people wearing the full-on Darth Vader costume, and I kept thinking, “They must be sweating like crazy in that costume, and it must smell terrible in there.”
An amazing view of AT&T Park … and my Star Wars shoes.
Sadly, this was the only Giants game we have been to this season. It’s shameful, really. We are going to an A’s game on Saturday, and I’m hoping we can squeeze in another Giants game before the regular season is over. Obviously, the Giants will make to the playoffs, but playoff and World Series tickets are really expensive.
Yeah, so, I accidentally took more than two weeks off from my blog. That’s not like me. I apologize. Let me make it up to you by writing a blog post filled with random crap. Cool? Cool!
At the end of June, the company I work for laid off my office buddy Jennifer, who was not only my office buddy, but she was the only other person on the content team. So, yeah, I’ve been swamped at work, and when I get home I’m not exactly aching to turn on the computer, which is most likely the reason for the lack of blogging. Ugh. I hate working at work. That shit is so lame. Let’s talk about something else …
Speaking of talking, The Kid is starting to talk a lot. There’s still some babbling, but we are hearing a lot of sentences, too. The other day he handed me my phone and said, “Take a picture of me.” So I did.
Bunny ears.
I posted this photo on Facebook, explaining that Calvin asked me to, and good buddy Katie commented, “See? He knows what a phone is for.” Suck on that, speech therapist.
On Sunday, mighty, mighty good man David and I finally got to go to our first game of the baseball season. I know, right? That’s so sad. We went to the A’s game with good buddies Corso and Kate, and once again the baseball gods were smiling on me at the Oakland Coliseum because David was able to snap this photo.
Big heads!
For those of you who don’t give a shit about baseball because you care about other cooler stuff, that’s Dennis Eckersley, Rollie Fingers and Rickey Henderson. They race on the field during the 7th inning. I think all ballparks need to do mascot racing. Where’s the Kickstarter to make that happen? I’ll contribute. Hey, San Francisco Giants: You have a organic garden in centerfield (seriously), but you don’t have mascot racing. Priorities! We’re going to the game on August 31 (it’s the Star Wars game), and I want to see some goddamn mascots racing. Make it happen.
I’ve had really good luck at the Coliseum lately. Last season, I got my photo taken with the A’s mascot Stomper and some “Star Wars” folks.
Yes, I’m more of a Giants fan, but still … Take this, haters!
You: “I’m jealous of your Han Solo shirt.” Me: “I know.”
Speaking of awesome things that happened, Almanac released a Dark Pumpkin Sour beer. I repeat, Dark Pumpkin Sour beer. Those are my four favorite words: Dark Pumpkin Sour BEER!
Dark. Pumpkin. SOUR!
I read about this beer a few weeks ago, and I tweeted to my local bottle shop. “Do you have the Almanac Dark Pumpkin Sour?” And they replied they would have it later the following week. Last Thursday, I walked in, and the owner said, “It’s back there.” This was cool for two reasons:
1) Dark Pumpkin Sour beer.
2) The bottle shop owner knows who I am.
Actually, that second one might be a sign of a problem.
So anyway, the Dark Pumpkin Sour was everything I dreamed it would be. If you like sour beer, I recommend it. If you don’t like sour beer, well … more for me.
Speaking of things I’m addicted to, David served me a bowl of Peanut Butter Fudge Swirl ice cream from Bi-Rite tonight. After one bite …
Oh man. That ice cream is going to be a problem. Now I understand why people are lining up around the block for it all the time. I get it now, you guys. I get it.
Yeah, so, on Sunday, mighty, mighty good man David and I got dressed up and met good buddies Jess and Jeff for dinner at the House of Prime Rib.
I know. We’re so fancy.
That place is so awesome. They carve the meat right at your table, and it comes with creamed spinach and a loaded baked potato. They also make the salad right at your table, and you have your choice of dressing, and by “choice” I mean Thousand Island or Thousand Island.
David ordered the biggest piece of meat I’ve ever seen. It’s like the meat Fred Flintstone orders and it tips over his car. See?
MEAT!
That’s a lot of meat, right? Well, here’s the thing … he ate all of it. AND THEN, the waitress offered him a complimentary extra slice, and he ate that, too!
David is more prime rib than man now.
Funny story: David was a vegetarian for seven years.
Yeah, so, The Kid’s preschool is closed this week, so I’m skipping work and trying to take him on little adventures around San Francisco.
Tuesday, I took him to get a haircut, which is an awesome adventure, and by awesome I mean, stressful. He cries the entire time. I was able to lessen the crying by showing him a video of himself on my phone. He’s so vain. He probably thinks this blog is about him.
He’s single, ladies. Line starts to the left.
After the traumatic haircut, we went to Crissy Fields, which is an amazing beach with a beautiful view of the Golden Gate Bridge. Oh, and you have to wear a sweatshirt to the beach in June, because San Francisco.
Taking it to the bridge.
Beach selfie.
Wednesday, we went to the San Francisco Zoo, in which we saw – maybe – two animals – and spent the rest of the time in their big, fancy playground. Fine by me. I go to the zoo for Calvin, and if he wants to spend the entire time on the swing and playing in the sandbox like he can at any other park in San Francisco instead of gawking at the animals that’s cool with me. I have a feeling he will be all about the animals in about another year or so. Plus, the zoo has soft serve ice cream, so no worries.
The trip to the zoo also resulted in a 2.5 hour nap, so … GO ZOO!
So, yeah, as you, my tens of readers, are aware, The Kid is trying to catch up to his peers, talking-wise. After almost a year of not being able to hear, Calvin’s language skills is, not surprisingly, lacking when compared to other kids his age. However, he is making remarkable progress!
He is starting to say a ton of words and sentences. He is starting to repeat things we say. For example, he spilled a cup of water the other day and I said, “Oh honey!” He turned to me and said, “Oh honey!” Then I heard him say it again to Thomas the Tank Engine when he got into an accident and spilled his load (Hehehehe, I said, “load”) on the cartoon. This means I really need to start watching my fuckin’ mouth. I swear a lot. Plus, today at the zoo when we were getting ready to leave he said, “I’m not finished,” which means he will be sassing me in public in no time, right?
Mighty, mighty good man David took an adorable video of Calvin reading “Goodnight Moon” to himself. There’s still some babbling in there, but you can hear the words. What I’m trying to say is, my boy is reading, and he’s practically a genius.
This second video is photobombed by Homer, which makes it worth watching.
Yeah, so, Gov. Rick Perry was in San Francisco last night, where he really won over the crowd comparing being gay to being an alcoholic.
Smooth move, Rick Perry. I imagine he ended his speech with “I hope the Los Angeles Dodgers sweep the San Francisco Giants” before dropping the mic and saying, “Peace out, Frisco!”
Obviously, everyone freaked out, but I think everyone is misinterpreting the story. Here’s a quote from SFGate.com.
“I may have the genetic coding that I’m inclined to be an alcoholic, but I have the desire not to do that, and I look at the homosexual issue the same way,” he said.
Sounds to me like he just came out, you guys.
Or maybe he was joking. I mean, no one would really think being gay is the same thing as being an alcoholic, right? Only an idiot would think that, and Rick Perry isn’t an idiot. I mean, look at his smart glasses. Only smart people were glasses.
“I’m totally not dumb, you guys. I wear glasses and shit.”
Yeah, so, before I had a kid, I almost never went to the zoo.
I think the last time I went to the zoo (that didn’t involve my kid or a weird work-related zoo board meeting) I might have been 18. I think a boy took me to the zoo on a date, because we weren’t old enough to go to a bar. “Want to walk around and look at animals?” “Umm, I guess.”
What I’m saying is, I go to the zoo all the time now, because my kid isn’t old enough to go to a bar.
Man, oh man, kids love the zoo. They go crazy. They run all over the place, screaming and pointing at animals in cages natural habitats. I like the zoo, too. Most of those animals have it pretty good. I mean, I wouldn’t mind laying around all day while someone brought me food. Sounds awesome.
Some of them are depressing sites, though. I think chimps are way too smart for a zoo. They look like me in a meeting at work; unhappy and bored. Also, the polar bears are a bummer. Shouldn’t they put them in enclosed area with the air conditioner turned up to high or something? They look uncomfortable. Of course, I guess these animals should consider themselves lucky to be here. Some other zoos are not so nice. Oh yeah, that reminds me. Fuck you, Copenhagen Zoo. You are the worst.
So anyway, in the Bay Area, we are really fortunate to have two really nice zoos. The Oakland Zoo is great. The weather is usually nicer in the East Bay, and the zoo is a little smaller. It’s walkable for a little ones. The San Francisco Zoo is bigger and has more animals. Also, it’s about a three-minute drive from our house. Last year we had a membership to the Oakland Zoo. This year, my aunt Jeanne bought us a membership to the San Francisco Zoo, so we go to the SF Zoo most of the time.
The Spawn doesn’t ask us to buy him things … yet. I’m sure that day will come. However, I think the panda hats are really cute, and I finally broke down and bought one.
Family selfie on the zoo train. I’m wearing the panda hat because I wanted to make sure we got our money’s worth.
The San Francisco Zoo has my favorite animals: penguins and giraffes. I could watch them all day. Also, and this is important, the San Francisco Zoo serves beer. I see parents walking around without a beer and I think, “Don’t they know they serve beer here?”
The San Francisco Zoo also recently added a ginormous playground. It’s got three playgrounds for three different age groups, and they are pretty nice. There’s a little area for babies; a medium-size area for toddlers; and a big wooden play structure for bigger kids. Give you one guess which one my kid insists on …
And here’s one of my new favorite things about this play area: There’s a little cafe! They serve coffee and tasty sandwiches. I got the turkey sandwich with pesto, and it was good. The sandwich was $10, and it came with chips. That’s about what I would pay for a decent lunch anywhere in SF.
I told mighty, mighty good man David that we should just start packing up the kid and going to lunch at the zoo on the weekends. It only takes us a few minutes to get there. We have a membership. We can eat our tasty overpriced sandwiches while our kid tires himself out on the playground. Maybe the zoo could be our go-to place?
The Sonia Show 